Sick little Charade
by Blind Kunoichi
Summary: I love her. He loves him. With what I assume is an unreal relationship we mask it. We need to heal eachother. NejiHina SasuIta NejiSasu and more. Mild incest and not so mild homosexual relations.
1. Join the charade

**Disclaimer: I don't own this series. Poor me... (**  
**Summary: I love her. He loves him. We hurt so bad because they love others. We need to heal eachother. Neji/Hina Sasu/Ita Neji/Sasu Shika/Ino Kiba/Saku Tenten/Lee and more. Incest, YAOI**

"Incest is best! Incest is best!" he chants coldly. I cover her ears and kiss the top of her head, whispering to her that he's not worth it. He used to be my best friend, he was there for me when my dad died, and we had plenty of intimate times together. I glare at him. Asshole.

"Like you're one to talk, Uchiha, I seem to remember that one night…" he cuts me off with a slap to my face. I touch where he had hit me, feeling his poisonous touch on my face. That touch used to heal me.

"You are never to talk about that, you fucking little shit," he glares at me and I glare back.

"Neji-niisan, Uchiha-san. Please stop…" Hinata whispers. I am supposed to fulfill her request, but I can not. I ball my fists and punch him forcefully in the stomach.

"You used to be cool, Neji. You used to be worthy of me. But now you're just a little whore, a filthy tainted whore!" He screams at me. Tears are forming in his eyes. I know I'm the only one who recognizes them. Perhaps I did betray him, but he betrayed me as well. I don't care that he insults me. What annoys me is that he's being a hypocrite _and _hurting Hinata at the same time he insults me.

He swings a punch at me again. I let him hit me. Perhaps I deserve it. But he deserves being hit too. I kick him in the shin and push him to the floor, getting on top of him and twisting my elbow into his stomach. His tears are now very visible. Anyone else would think he was crying because I was hurting him. But I know. He looks up at me and says in a cold, almost hurt, voice,

"Is she worth more to you than I am?"

I can't answer. People are crowding around us. My group of friends, random passer byers. Girls and guys who have had crushes on me, crushes on Sasuke.

I raise my fist. He knows that he has asked a sensitive question and that my only answer would be a fist to his rib cage. But he is wrong. I get up and walk away, whispering just loud enough for him to hear it

"Yes."

And I know that hurt him more than any physical wound I could ever give him.

* * *

**Several weeks previous**

* * *

Hinata and I had all the same classes, I'm guessing from the influence of my uncle, who insists that I be with her always to make sure that she isn't hurt. He's been paranoid ever since some perverted math teacher by the name of Gashir molested her after class when she was eleven. Now she was fourteen, and I was fifteen. My favorite class was German, I liked the language and I found Rammstein a whole of a lot more interesting. When Hinata would have trouble, I'd give her one side of my head phones and we'd huddle close, listening to the music and I'd ask her what certain phrases were and I'd instruct her if she got it wrong. She seemed to like this method of learning, and I enjoyed helping her. 

The high school we went to was an alternative one, with only about 260 kid's total. No one was particularly popular, but I definitely had to say that our group of friends, our clique, our posse, our crowd, was one of the cooler ones. We had a wide variety of kids in our clique, not like the Goth crowd, or the preppy people. Of course, there was my self and Hinata. Then there was Shikamaru and Ino and Chouji, whose fathers owned a furniture franchise together, Sakura who had been friends with Ino since second grade, Naruto who was an all around friendly guy, Lee who was ugly but fun to hang around and would help with anything he could. Sometimes he got on my nerves. Tenten had known Lee since they were little and it was obvious she liked him. Shino was interested in bugs and painted beautiful pictures of naked faeries that had neither and both sexes. Shino spent a lot of time with Kiba, who was this punk kid who wore a dog collar and snuck his puppy to school with him, his lip was pierced and he painted red stripes down his face and wore heavy eyeliner. He was currently dating Sakura, but Kiba liked Hinata and Sakura liked Sasuke. Sasuke and his brother Itachi are both VERY attractive people. Itachi and I had only about two things in common. We were mistaken for girls ALL the FREAKING time, and we would both do almost anything for Sasuke, because he was that important to us. After the Uchiha siblings there was Gaara and his siblings, though they only hung out with us at lunch, and took to their own company otherwise. Recently, this guy named Orochimaru has been hanging around with us just because he was friends with Itachi. Sasuke always seemed so uncomfortable around him.

I'll tell you right off, I'm bi. I've had plenty of intimate relations with guys, and I'm not shy about it. But I still like girls.

Well, a girl.

I realized it a while ago, and kept it to myself. I think she knew as well, but she didn't seem to mind. As little kids, Hinata and I spent so much time together and we'd seen each other naked during bath time and whenever we went on family trips we shared a bed. And whenever she got scared, she'd crawl into my bed and I'd hold her. I never realized that it was weird to have this kind of relationship with my cousin. I didn't realize it was weird that I was caressing her cheek as she slept, or that I would kiss her cheek and head and neck. She would kiss me too, and play with my hair and hug me tightly as we slept; her body curled so close to mine.

She never realized either. But she did know it was weird that her math teacher was unbuttoning her shirt, even though she was used to people, as in me, seeing her without one.

Hinata and I have never done "it", but what I didn't realize way back when is something I know now. I love her. But it can never be more than what it is. I realized that I loved her a few months ago, when I went on this date with some girl. She started playing with my hair and kissing my cheek, neck, forehead, and eventually my lips. I returned her kiss, but after about a minute, I moaned Hinata's name, I couldn't even begin to tell you how much I've wanted to kiss Hinata like this. However, his girl was not Hinata; she didn't even remind me of Hinata. I apologized and told her that maybe seeing her wasn't a good idea.

Anyways, there was a party that night at seven, held at the Uchiha estate. Sasuke's father was insane and convinced his mother that he would love her more if they were both dead. He shot himself, but right before hand he told her that he would wait for her. She shot herself soon afterwards. Creepy, creepy people. So, because of that, Sasuke lives in the care of his older brother. I think he's better off like that, personally, just because his parents were so… crazy.

Hinata and I left the house around five thirty, since I told Sasuke I'd get there early. She was wearing my large black sweatshirt that she'd had for over a year now and a new pair of jeans she had gotten on sale at the Bon. Underneath the sweatshirt she wore a pink tank top that showed cleavage when she bent over. Hanabi had bought for her as a birthday present. Hinata liked only wore the shirt inside unless she could cover it. The sleeves of her sweatshirt were rolled up, revealing black arm-warmers, covered by smaller pink ones that looked like gloves, and several bracelets. She wore a small amount of pink eye shadow and some flavored shiny lip gloss. I smiled and told her she looked beautiful. She smiled back, blushing, and I knew she had dressed up for someone. But I didn't know who. Or maybe I did and just didn't want to admit it to myself.

Sasuke asked if he could talk to me alone. I was reluctant to agree, seeing that only Itachi and Orochimaru would be there to keep Hinata company, but she said that it was probably important and that I should be there for my friend when he needed me.

"My brother is dating that freak out there! He's dating that fucking snake!" Sasuke told me in an urgent and whiney whisper, as if he were trying to suppress tears. I pulled him into a hug, unsure of what to say.

"Neji, Itachi and I have been through so much. Alone together, you know? We only ever needed each other... so why did he have to bring someone else into the already picture perfect picture?"

I shrugged, and comfortingly rubbed my hand up and down his back. He smiled weakly. "I just… I just… I suppose it's the narcissism in it all. I've only ever tried to be like him, so I guess I saw it coming… do you know what I mean…"

I did, because the same thing was happening to me. But he didn't need to know that, so I shook my head,

"I'm sorry Sasuke; I don't know what you're trying to say."

"You're going to think I'm so weird, and you're going to avoid me forever, but… but Neji, I'm in love with Itachi… I like it when he cares for me when I'm sick, or will call me in sick if he has a day off work so we can spend the day together. I love it when he ruffles my head and pokes me affectionately in the forehead. I like it when he makes me breakfast, or rents a video that he wouldn't even consider watching if he didn't know I wanted to see it, and I like it even better when he watches it with me… Sometimes he'll just sit there with me, rubbing my head or my back or my cheek. And this one time he came home really drunk and pulled me into bed with him and took my shirt off, and sensually touched my bare chest, and nibbled on my neck, and kissed me, and just let me sleep in there with him, my head on his bare chest."

He said this all very quickly. I tried to imagine that happening, and felt my face getting very red. Itachi had made out with me at a party; he asked all the people that wanted to see us make out to give us a dollar, I got to make out with him nine times and made 4.50 from it. I felt guilty for it now, because it was I who got to make out with the one my best friend wanted.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke." I said, cradling him in my arms and looking around his bedroom awkwardly. I didn't know what to say, even though I was having almost the same problem. I wasn't quite sure whether he wanted advice on how to deal with Orochimaru, or tell him that it was fine for him to be in love with his brother, or tell him that I had a similar problem and that eventually you'd learn to accept it and live with it.

Sasuke held me tightly, his hands gripping my back so hard that I was sure there would be marks. I stayed silent, figuring my embrace would speak louder than any words I could've said to him. He buried his head in my chest, and his body shook with sobs. I ran my fingers through his hair (with difficulty due to his unusual hair style) and rocked back and fourth.

He looked up at me, a new expression in his eyes.

"Help me…" he whispered.

I finally spoke,

"Sasuke, I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me, I'll do anything I can," I whispered in his ear.

He smiled; a beautiful seductive smile. I'd seen him use that smile before, whenever he wanted something from a girl that liked him. They would melt, literally melt, and I wasn't any different.

I needed help too, so I decided that I would let him do whatever it was he wanted to me. He began to nibble up my neck, sucking tenderly on my Adams apple. I was reluctant to swallow. He kept on nibbling, licking, and sucking on my neck as he walked me over to the bed and pushed me onto it. He moved his hands up my shirt, rubbing my back sensually and then he dug his fingernails into my flesh as he moved his head up, bored with my neck. He was sitting on top of me; I was lying down on the bed, silent, letting him use me. I could give him what Itachi couldn't; he could give me what I was too afraid to take from Hinata.

He began to lick my earlobe, and then began biting harshly and licking the inside of my ear. One of his hands moved down to my pants and he fumbled with the button and zipper and he stroked my erection. His lips were now on mine, I opened my mouth to gasp and he silenced me with his tongue. I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how to tell him. I didn't want to upset him, especially since he was obviously very horny. I licked and nibbled at his tongue, and explored every crevice and taste of his mouth. I could taste the strawberry ice cream that we had shared earlier that day during lunch. I felt bad for getting everything, since it's not like I was the one that wanted it as much as he did. I wanted Hinata. I felt my way down to his pants, not bothering with unbuttoning them because they were very baggy.

Sasuke grabbed my hand before I could get inside and twisted it, he broke himself from my lips and shook his head at me. I was about to ask why, but he covered my mouth with my hand and then started sucking on my finger. I took my finger out of his mouth and pressed my lips against his again, sucking harshly on his tongue. I closed my eyes, and began to bite down softly on his tongue, I traced his shoulder blades with my fingers tenderly and broke the kiss. He leaned into me again, trying to get me again, but I was too quick. I licked at his flesh, biting and nibbling on his muscles and nipples.

"Itach…Neji." He moaned. He was now beneath me. I got off him quickly and picked up my shirt from the ground.

"I'm sorry Neji," he whispered. I shook my head, telling him in a convincing voice that it was fine. I thought that perhaps I could get over Hinata if he could get over Itachi. But I know that neither will ever happen and I didn't want to fool myself. My time with Sasuke was over too quickly, we'd only been up in his room for ten minutes and I knew we both still wanted to keep going. I mean, logically, who cares if he's not Hinata? He's willing to give himself to me, and I should take what I can get. But I still couldn't. Going at it again would ruin whatever chance he had with Itachi. Once was fine, though, because it just an impulsive response because he was hurt and I could heal him. But kissing him again would mean we were willing to sacrifice who we loved, even though we weren't, and we couldn't lie to each other like that.

"You think Orochimaru raped my cousin yet?" I asked after a few moments (that felt like an eternity) of awkward silence, to lighten up the mood. He laughed, but it sounded forced. He wanted to kiss me again, he wanted to pretend that I was Itachi. He wanted me to tie my hair back and draw lines under my eyes with eyeliner and paint my nails and toe nails black. And I would too, if it wouldn't interfere with the destiny that had been assigned to him. His destiny is with his brother, together or not, and I didn't want to step in the way of that. Just as mine was Hinata's, whether we can love each other or not. Or whether she even loves me at all.

This was all too confusing, I could hardly describe what I was thinking about to myself, and I must vainly say that I have a way with words. I could tell that Sasuke was thinking about the whole incest thing too, but probably not in the same way I was, because he still didn't know my side.

"I should probably go check on her," I said, standing up. I pushed my bangs back with my hands and combed my hair with my fingers.

Sasuke looked over to me, so I hesitated in leaving.

"Do you eh… wanna' go again?" he asked hopefully. I feel guilty for saying no.

"Do I disgust you, Neji?" he asked.

"No! Of course not… it's just that making me into the Itachi that you can have won't help either of us… and I want this, Sasuke, but I just think it would be a bad idea. For both of us…" I didn't think I was doing a good enough job of explaining. "I have a similar problem to yours Sasuke… and I want to run away from it as well, but I can't escape my destiny and neither can you. We… we can't be together. I'm- I'm sorry."

He smiled sadly. "Let's go check on Hinata, then, shall we?"

I nodded solemnly.

We walked back down stairs to Itachi, Hinata, and Orochimaru. I sat down on the couch in between Itachi and Hinata; I began tracing the pattern (which was ping-pong paddle like shapes and flowers) that was finely stitched into the couch. Sasuke sat between Itachi and I, leaving no more room for Orochimaru who was in the bathroom or something. Itachi didn't seem to mind that his little brother was in the space that his boyfriend should have been occupying.

Hinata looked at me curiously, knowing that something had gone on, but respected Sasuke's privacy and didn't ask. I would tell her some day, not that Sasuke was in love with his brother, but what Sasuke and I did. At least that was my business, and could spread it around as I wished.

I felt bad for her because she was obviously uncomfortable. I laced my fingers around hers and started humming 'Ich Will' and she would repeat it for me in English. I glanced over at Itachi, who was affectionately running his hands through his brother's hair. Sasuke and I caught eyes. I saw how content he looked, and smiled. They were both so beautiful, and together they would be more beautiful than the world could handle.

Hinata was flushed with heat. The house was really warm. But I knew that she wouldn't take the sweatshirt off due to the tank top underneath. Frankly, I'd like to see it, and I know that she'd be more comfortable. I held her close to me and asked if she'd like to take off the sweatshirt. She shook her head, but I knew that she did want to. I pulled it up off her, and helped her get out of it. She quickly pulled up the shirt, covering any cleavage that there might have been, but thanked me. I put my arm over her breasts and told her it'd be okay because I was here to make sure that if anyone looked at her inappropriately that they would die. She laughed.

Itachi smiled at the two of us. "Oh my god, Hinata-chan, you look really good in that camisole!"

She blushed and curled up closer into me, hiding within my arms. I smiled. She was just so beautiful and cute.

"What time is it, aniki?" Sasuke asked. Itachi craned his neck to see the digital clock on the wall behind him.

"Six thirty. Annoying girls who love us for our beauty will be here any minute now,"

"You're the beautiful one, aniki, not me," Sasuke muttered. Itachi glared at him.

"You're beautiful too Sasuke, you're an Uchiha and you're related to me,"

"You are beautiful… so beautiful… like a fairy or a sunrise or my Itachi," Orochimaru said, sitting down in the small amount space left on the couch. Hinata was on my lap, still, with Sasuke next to us, next to him was Itachi (who was scratching crazy patterns into Sasuke's pale flesh with his fingernails and running his hands through Sasuke's hair) and next to him was Orochimaru, who was not at all subtly molesting Itachi. Hinata looked away, shifting uncomfortably. I wished she wouldn't, because as I mentioned, she was sitting on my lap and I was still aroused from Sasuke's and mine little thing and I doubt I could stop myself from getting a hard on when the person that I wanted had her ass shifting against my penis.

Sasuke looked away from Orochimaru as well, not wanting to see him.

Orochimaru reached across Itachi and cupped Sasuke's chin, examining his face.

"Yes, yes, very beautiful. I want to taste your beauty, Sasuke-kun. Itachi, may I taste your brother?"

Itachi shook his head. "Not until everyone is drunk enough to not understand what you're doing,"

The door opened, and Sakura, Kiba, Ino, and Shikamaru came in. Kiba was smelling Sakura's hair and neck and nibbling on her ear. His pet names for her were "Poodle" and "Puppy" and I'd heard them doing stuff at parties like this one. He called her bitch when they did 'that'. But they were still such a cute couple. Shikamaru plunked down onto a different couch right away, and Ino glared at him.

"Shika, I don't have a date tonight so if any gross people hit on me –you- need to be the one that says 'hey, I'm her boyfriend'.

"It never works, though; you always go home with them even when I do say that,"

"Hey! You tell everyone that talks to me that you're my boyfriend, not just the gross people!"

I looked over to Sasuke, Itachi just licked his neck. I looked at Hinata, who was more comfortable now that there were more people here and she could blend in better.

"Well how am I supposed to know if they're gross or not?"

Ino was so oblivious. Not in the stereotypical blond way, but she thought anyone that talked to her liked her, and she didn't even suspect Shikamaru. Other than that, she was actually pretty smart. She was great at writing poetry, and you had to love her fashion sense.

"Well then today whenever someone gross hits on you say 'Oh Hello' in that way you say it to my mother when she's P.M.S.ing, and if it's not a gross guy say 'Hi' like you say to your father when you want money," Shikamaru said.

"Yes, but given that this is an Uchiha party, I will probably be drunk and want to make out with anyone just because I hate being single when even that forehead has a boyfriend."

Hinata kept looking at the door, and I kept shifting my focus on conversations. Orochimaru is sucking on Sasuke's toes. Sasuke looks very uncomfortable. I ask Hinata is he tried to do anything weird like that with her.

"He tried, but Itachi stopped him."

"What did he try to do?" I asked angrily.

"He said he'd give me forty dollars if I gave you head and let him video tape us… he says we're beautiful and should be beautiful together…"

As much as I hated to admit it, I wished she had taken him up on that offer. But I was still angry and Oro-san, and glared at him for good measure. He noticed and grinned at me, flicking his tongue out and licking his lips, winking. I looked away, and started unconsciously caressing Hinata's thigh. I've been with her to many parties and I know this helps her relax. I kiss her cheek, too.

Sakura started moaning, making everyone stop and look her way. Kiba and her were wrestling with their tongues, both outside their mouth and on all fours like a dog. Kiba started biting. Orochimaru took out a camera and took their photo.

Sasuke twitched, making the couch shake. Orochimaru and I looked over to him, to see that Itachi had now pulled his shirt to the side, exposing his neck and left shoulder and was now biting at it.

"Ita…chi…" Sasuke squeaked, and then remembered that people were there and scrambled away from his brother, "what the hell are you doing?"

"I have to agree with Sasuke here, you should be doing stuff like that to me!"

Okay… That. Was. So. Fucking. Hot. I've decided that I really like the idea of Sasuke and Itachi together.

Naruto soon walked in through the door, and Hinata tensed up.

"HELLOOOO!" He shouted cheerily. I waved, Itachi said yo. Ino and Shikamaru both said Hi, Kiba and Sakura smiled up at him, saying hello. I know that Sasuke is pretty close with Naruto, and I was secretly hoping he would keep his secret contained only with me. Who even knew about Naruto's sexuality and if he would get farther with Sasuke than I did.

I know I shouldn't be jealous. Sasuke has the right to date whoever he wants to.

But I'm still jealous.

Hinata tensed up and waved shyly to Naruto, getting off my lap and going over to him.

"H-hello Naruto, I-I read that book you t-told me too… it was really good. I, I really liked that part when that girl went crazy because the guy she loved was in love with his own reflection, and her bones dissolved and turned into stone…"

Naruto smiled, and said he was glad she liked it. I realized now that I didn't have to be jealous of Naruto because he might do Sasuke. I was jealous of Naruto because he might do Hinata.

Sasuke scooted away from his brother, closer to me, pretending to be disgusted. More people were arriving. Loud annoying people. But I could still hear every word that Hinata and Naruto exchanged. Sasuke put his hand over mine. He could feel me clenching my fist so tightly that my nails were leaving marks in my skin. He looked at me knowingly, knowing what my tight jaw and balled fist meant.

"Her?" he asked. I nodded, tears entering my eyes. It hurt to admit it out loud. Sasuke gestured to me that he was leaving the room, and I followed. It didn't hurt this much before he knew. And now I knew how much painful this was. I needed his hands to heal me. He needed me to heal him.

As soon as we closed his bedroom door, we started to kiss furiously, he stripped my shirt off again, and I stripped off his. We were in so much pain. I wanted him to heal me. To kill me. And I knew, that tonight, destiny wouldn't be the only one fucking around with me.

**TBC**


	2. Your mask smells like him

**I'm trying to make the pairings as least confusing as possible, so here are some definite ones:  
Sasuke/Itachi  
Neji/Sasuke  
Neji/Hinata  
Tenten/Lee  
Kiba/Sakura  
Itachi/Orochimaru  
And Orochimaru is a kinky horny guy who will flirt with anyone and everyone and likes to video tape… stuff.  
I was also thinking that Hanabi might get offended that Neji was in love w/ Hinata and not her, because she's like supposedly better; she might try to change Neji's mind, but she certainly doesn't lust after him. She just wants to one up her sister.**

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. **

* * *

Sasuke asked me if I'd like to spend the night, and I was reluctant. I had to take Hinata home. Sasuke told me he would get someone trustable to escort her back to the Hyuuga estate. 

I lay there in his arms. I still hadn't decided if I would stay or not. I secretly wished he were me and I was Hinata… I'd love for myself to hold her peacefully. She hadn't come into my bed lately, and in public places she would sometimes not sit on my lap. I always wondered why. I wanted her to trust me the way she used to.

Sasuke must've been like, a rabbit in a past life or something, because it wasn't peaceful cuddling for too long. Soon he wanted to go at it again and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. I was submissive, but not active, letting him have his way with me as I lay on his bed and pondered life, destiny, and my relationship with both Sasuke and Hinata. It would just be so much easier if I were Sasuke and he were me. Then I could be with Itachi and he could be with Hinata and then neither of us would be incestuous and this wouldn't be as hard.

Wait….

That didn't seem to make any sense. Sasuke was doing a good job of fucking up my brains as well as my body.

Sasuke smelled so good, not like Hinata in the way that they smell similar, but in comparison to Hinata. They both smelled equally (but differently) good. Sasuke lips were now on mine, and he was demanding entrance. Without much thought I opened my mouth and put my hands on Sasuke's head, flattening his hair with my palms and opening my eyes to see how similar his hair looked to Hinata's like that.

They didn't look similar. At all. So why was I trying to pretend that he was her. I looked to my left side at the clock. Hinata's father wanted her home in eleven minutes. I pushed Sasuke off me, apologizing, and telling him I had to get her home. He looked a bit miffed that I wasn't staying over with him, so I kissed his eyelid and told him I might be able to later that weekend. It was a lie, of course, because I never knew when Hinata might want to seek comfort in my bed at night again and I didn't want to be away when and if she did.

He wouldn't give me my shirt back, maybe so I'd stay, so I picked up his and put on. It smelled like him. It smelled like Uchiha. Like Itachi. Like this sick little charade that I'd just become a part of and I didn't know how long I could keep it up. But I had to because he wouldn't give me back mine. Wow… symbolic, eh? Perhaps… but perhaps not. Maybe I'm just paying too much attention in English class.

* * *

I hurried down stairs to get Hinata, combing my messy hair with my fingers and trying to hide the sexual smell with… well with nothing, so I suppose trying to hide it with will power. 

"Hinata, we have like, nine minutes to get home…" I told her, looking at the clock on the wall. She broke away from Naruto, waving good bye timidly. I gave him a dirty look while she wasn't looking. Drunk, stoned, immature, unattractive, random partiers were crowded all around us. I wanted to tell Orochimaru to get away from my best friends man, and I wanted to tell Naruto to get away from my cousin. But I did neither, because it was none of my business what Itachi did and it was none of my business what Hinata or Naruto did.

Damn. I really wish it was, though.

Unluckily for Hinata and I, our house wasn't exactly close to the Uchiha's residence. But there was one good thing, and that was that all the people that would be out around now are _at_ the Uchiha residence so there was less traffic.

I asked Hinata what she had done at the party to which she responded that she had a really great time with Hinata. She asked me if I had a good time, and I shrugged. I told her parties weren't really my thing.

"But you weren't really in the crowd the whole time, you were up with Sasuke…" she said. I knew this was her way of asking what had happened.

"I can't tell you all the details," I said, speeding up at a yellow light, "but Sasuke is in love with someone who doesn't love him back, and I have a somewhat similar problem, so he thought that maybe we should just give up on them and find comfort in each other."

She stayed silent, avoiding looking at me. I wished I could read her mind; I needed to hear what she thought of the situation. I needed to know if she knew who I loved or who Sasuke loved. Or what I mean by "seek comfort".

"I'm surprised that both you and Sasuke have a problem like that," she said at last, "You guys are both so... sought after. And let's face it; you guys are both really attractive."

I found myself blushing. She smiled and put her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her, but still had both hands on the wheel. I was content with her like that, and she seemed content to be with me.

"So what did you and Naruto talk about?" I wished I hadn't asked as soon as the words left my mouth. She stiffened and sat up.

"Er, mainly he just talked about ramen and fairy tales and how he hated that Sakura was dating Kiba. And that he was kinda creeped out by what Itachi and Orochimaru-san were doing on the couch. They both had a lot to drink… Orochimaru kept calling out names of random people and eventually Itachi-san got so angry at him he bit Orochimaru-san's tongue and made it bleed…"

I cringed. That sounded so painful. I knew now not to bring up Naruto in conversations any more. Perhaps when she thought of him she remembered that she liked him and felt guilty for being with me.

I didn't want her to stop touching me. I didn't want her to feel guilty around me. I wanted her to want me as I wanted her. I didn't want her to like Naruto.

And I wished that Sasuke hadn't wanted to do that with me. I only really ever wanted Hinata, and Sasuke just made everything I thought about more complicated.

We arrived at her house four minutes late, but I don't think her father minded. It was only Eleven forty-four now.

Hanabi, Hinata's little sister and my other cousin, asked how the party was. Hanabi has a stronger will than Hinata, and is more out spoken. If any one tried to molest her, she'd pretend to be enticed, make out with them, then bite their tongue off and kick them in the balls and then stab them in the stomach with her hello kitty chopsticks. I like to help her with math, but she can get on my nerves. She always makes fun of Hinata. Also, I swear she knows the feelings I have for Hinata.

"It was fine, N-Naruto-kun was there and we talked a lot," Hinata answered.

"How about you Neji, did you talk with the person you were obsessed with at the party?" She asked me.

"No," I said, looking away from Hinata and in a more joking voice I said, "But I did have sex with Sasuke."

She didn't know I was telling the truth, due to my tone of voice. "Lucky you, billions of girls will be after you, but I think it was worth it," she said. "Too bad you didn't have sex with someone you truly liked," she made it obvious who she meant.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, Ha-chan?" I asked, my eyes narrowing angrily at her.

"It's Friday night, Neji, you know daddy's rules on Friday nights," she retorted. I love Hanabi, she's mature enough to have decent conversations with, but she uses information against me and makes me feel guilty about my feelings. She has never actually told me she knew/thought I loved Hinata, but it was obvious she at least had a suspicion. And she shoved it in my face whenever she could.

Hinata yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"I think I'm going to get to bed, I have a headache," she told us. Hinata usually only got headaches around… that time. I've been keeping track of it for over a year now. I remember that Hinata had called my cell phone and asked me to come to her class. I was concerned, and rushed over quickly. She was huddled in her chair, clutching her head and stomach at the same time.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She shook her head.

Her teacher pulled me aside and explained that Hinata was experiencing her first period, and that she should get feminine hygiene supplies ASAP. Hinata was wearing white Capri pants and a long sleeved Hello Kitty t-shirt. I asked her if she could get up, or if she was in too much pain.

"T-that's not why I'm not getting up…

"Oh…." Then it dawned on me, "Oh!" I pulled off my large black sweatshirt and put it on over her head, and she stood up.

"Thank you, Neji-niisan," she hugged me tightly, and I kissed the top of her head. We blew off sixth and I took her to the drug store, to buy her some pads and then took her out for some ice cream.

Ever since then, it was easy to tell when she was on it, because of her bad head aches and the fact that she would **Not** take off the black sweatshirt, even in sleep. She wore the sweatshirt often, but when she was… you know, it was like an extra layer of skin.

I had gotten a new sweatshirt since then, though, and I actually liked that she kept it.

"Good night!" Hanabi called cheerily. Hinata clutched onto her stomach as she walked. I was glad I was male and didn't have to deal with that, but at the same time I wanted to share her pain so she didn't have to deal with it. I trailed after her,

"Good night, Hinata-sama," I said. Her father was in her study, and she took an extra minute to kiss him goodnight, and then came back out and hugged me goodnight.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" I asked. She smiled, and shook her head.

"Would you like to sleep in my bed tonight, it might lessen the pain if you share it with me," I said. Her face brightened, and she nodded, going into her room to get he pillow and large, white stuffed polar bear.

We slept, (Well, she slept, I lay wide awake) close together, I had gently let my hand rest on her stomach and with my other hand I ran it through her hair to soothe her head ache. I was happy she was sleeping in my bed again, because she hadn't in a while. In her sleep she muttered the name Naruto-kun, and said also my own name.

It was about three in the morning when my cell phone rang. Hinata woke as I answered and in a hushed, groggy voice said "Hello".

"Neji, it's me," I head Sasuke's voice say. Hinata asks who it is and I tell her.

"Sasuke, it's like… two," I said.

"Actually, it's three," he told me.

"That makes it a lot better, doesn't it?" I complained.

"I'm sorry Neji, I just didn't know who else to talk to… I can hear Itachi and Orochimaru, they're doing it. And that bitch is not quiet at all! Neji… I don't want to be here."

I suppose I should be flattered. I got to see a side of Sasuke that no one else ever has. His needy side. But I was having a pleasant, albeit surreal, dream and I was here with Hinata…

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke… how about you open their bedroom door, say 'Either let me join you, or shut the hell up', and then if they don't shut up, you can strip off your clothes and get in bed with them." I suggested sarcastically. Hinata raised her head, a confused look on her face. I would tell her later.

"No, I don't think that'd work," Sasuke said finally. I was surprised he didn't get that I was being sarcastic. I yawned.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, but I'm falling asleep. I'll come over tomorrow; we'll talk and stuff, 'kay?"

"Okay… but before you go, I'm sleeping in your shirt. I like the way it smells." I was about to tell him that that was kind of creepy, but then I realized that I was still wearing his shirt, too.

"That's precious. Bye bye."

I hung up before he could respond.

I told Hinata that I was sorry about that, and to go back to sleep.

"Why did he call so early?" she asked.

"His brother is being loud in the next room over, and he has some personal problems with that," I mumbled. She said Okay, and then snuggled close to me. I could feel her breasts pressed up against me. I rubbed her back until I feel asleep again.

**

* * *

Annoying POV switch  
First person/Sasuke**

* * *

I sit in my bed, thinking of Itachi and Neji. I am a little hurt that Neji doesn't devote his entire heart to me. Not that he hung up the phone, but that he dared have feelings for someone else. 

I hear love noises coming from the next room over. Pretty, pretty noises. I wish they'd stop soon.

I elbow the wall, hoping they'd hear and catch a clue. How can Itachi be doing that with HIM? It's not like I want Itachi doing that with me, well not as much as one would think, I just wish he would've asked me before he started dating Orochimaru.

Several minutes go by with me thinking. Maybe Neji is right. I can't force him to be my Itachi, just as he can't force me to be his Hinata…

This. Is. It.! I'm going crazy here. I can't stand those sounds. At least Neji and I were _quiet_. I grope around on the floor for a pair of pants and pull them on. It's three in the bloody morning and I have to get out of bed to tell my brother and his boyfriend to shut up and have sex quieter.

I knock on the door, quietly at first and then louder. Itachi doesn't say anything, but Orochimaru giggles and tells me to come in. I open the door, squinting my eyes and looking at my stomach so I don't have to see anything.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Itachi asks me. He sounds honestly concerned and it seems as if he truly does value what I say.

"Er, not to try to spoil your romantic… time doing… that, but it is three in the morning and you guys are very, very loud…"

"You would be too if you had me inside of you," Orochimaru says. Itachi elbows him in the chest and tells him to shut up. He asks me to hand me his pants, so I search around for them and comply with his request. He pulls them on from underneath the covers and stands up. He doesn't smell like himself. He smells like himself with Orochimaru remnants all over him. It is disgusting.

"Er, Sasuke, mom and dad were never alive to give you the talk, so maybe I should explain what he and I are doing…"

"Itachi, I know what you and him were doing, I know about sex. I would've had it today if someone's cousin didn't have to be home so early," I grumbled under my breath. He smiles.

"Good for you. However, I feel it is my responsibility to remind you to use a condom next time. They're in the medicine cabinet."

"I know," I huff. He ruffles my head.

"Sorry we kept you up," he says. He then turns to Orochimaru,

"Hey hon, it is pretty late. You should go home."

Orochimaru grumbles, and stands up. I quickly looked away, not wanting to see _him_ of all people naked.

When he leaves, Itachi hauls me into bed with him (EW his sheets smell bad) and ruffles my hair. I comb it back into place.

"So Neji, eh?" he asks me. He's not tired at all and neither am I, but we lie here pretending that we're trying to fall asleep.

"Yeah, but I don't think it'll go anywhere. He is a beautiful person and all the beautiful people all have significant others all ready," I say.

"Oh?" he asks. I nod.

"I'm surprised I didn't realize it before today who Neji liked…" I sigh. He nods.

"Hinata, right?"

I don't respond, but my silence gives it away. He shrugs.

"It's obvious. She loves him too, but I don't think either of them realizes it."

"I hope she never does. Eventually he'll come back to me when she starts fucking around with Naruto."

"But by then you'll be with someone who wants you for you, and not for the way you make them forget the other,"

"Eh…"

I don't really feel like talking. I'm torn between two people. They both care for me and they give me what my parents couldn't, given they were insane and killed themselves. Itachi doesn't like me bringing up the subject, and he always seems to know when I'm thinking about it. He always seems to know exactly how to make me feel better. I think he knows I don't like Orochimaru.

"I was a bit surprised you started dating Orochimaru. I was like, the last person to find out about it, too." I tell him.

"I always feel as if you look at me as more of a parent than an older brother, and I try to be, but I can't raise you on my own… you need variety in who can manipulate you to do their bidding. I wanted you to have a fatherly figure, since our dad was such an ass. I have you for four more years. Besides, Neji does seem to spoil you like I do, you obviously like him because he can father you."

Itachi really likes psychology. He's going to be a psychiatrist.

"Snake-man is a bit creepier than Neji," I mutter.

He laughs. "But he's sweet, and he respects you. I think you should give him a chance."

Itachi knows I dislike Orochimaru. At least he's not completely brain dead about my feelings. I slowly inch my way closer to him, gradually so it doesn't seem like I'm doing it on purpose.

He doesn't know, though, that I hate Orochimaru because he could be more intimate with him than I could. I don't think he'll find out soon though. I'll be keeping this my own secret. I have to keep up this sick little charade.

**Please review! '.'  
I love to hear your ideas/thoughts on the story! **


	3. ooh cliff hanger better hope I finish

**I don't own Naruto or any of it's affiliated characters. Except for Neji, he's all mine ... ah, if only it were true... :(**

I woke up again at around seven in the morning. I pulled the blankets back up around Hinata and I, and then wrapped my arms around her for extra warmth. I was so content just laying there, my head buried in the small of her back. She murmured my name in her sleep, causing me to smile. I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't so I just lay there with her. With her… I always want to be with her.

Seven ten. The minutes ticked by. Seven twenty. Seven twenty three. Seven thirty. Fifteen more minutes of this. She'd wake up then. I kissed her temple gently. Why did she have to wake up? I loved this so much.

I'd have to go to Sasuke's in a few hours. Not that I care, because I like to be with him. And besides, Hinata would probably be going over to Sakura's to study with her, Shino, and Kiba would definitely be there. I smiled. I'm glad Hinata had friends. She and Shino and Kiba had gone way back from when they had to do a presentation in third grade, and I was happy that she had more than just them and had started to hang out with people her own gender.

Seven forty five. Hinata's eyes shot open. It made me smile.

"Good morning," she whispered to me, turning over so that we were face to face.

"Good morning, Hinata sama," I whispered back.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked.

"Only a few minutes," I lied. She always told me I should wake her when she woke up.

"I have to get up, I'm meeting Sakura at Starbucks at eight thirty." She tells me. She waits for my consent, so I nod. She pushes the covers back a little and gets up. I hug her large white stuffed bear to me. I love her so much. It feels as if someone was eating me alive.

* * *

I dropped Hinata off at Starbucks and then drove over to Sasuke's. 

"Hey," he said, greeting me at the door. Itachi was up, eating some organic cereal that I was quite certain Hiashi has somewhere in the cabinets. I greeted both of them. Sasuke seemed eerily happy, and I could never really tell much about what Itachi was feeling.

"Sorry I couldn't stay later last night," I told Sasuke as we walked up the stairs and went into his room. He plunked onto his bed and lay looking up at me.

"Oh, it's fine," he said. I reached into my Hello Kitty messenger bag and handed him his shirt.

"Thanks," he said cheerily. It was so strange…

"So how did things end up going last night? I assume Orochimaru left at some point since he's not here any more,"

"Yeah, about ten minutes after you called me I went and asked them to be quiet,"

"And?"

"And Orochimaru said no, so Itachi told him to leave," he began to grin; I knew he had more to tell me.

"And?" I asked again.

"Then I slept in his bed and we talked a bunch." He concluded.

I was going to ask about what, but I realized I didn't really care all that much and he probably didn't want to share.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" he asked me suddenly. I shook my head.

"Good, I'll make you some," he bounced up and took my hand, pulling me back downstairs to the kitchen. I had experienced his culinary skills before, and honestly he was a really good chef. It was kind of awkward though, being around Itachi and Sasuke at the same time. I wanted to push them together some how, in the obvious ways school girls will push a boy and their friend together, making him sit next to her, awkwardly. But these two sit next to each other willingly, and know everything about each other. How could I help him?

Itachi greeted me with a short nod of the head, and I responded pleasantly. How could I help them? I couldn't help but wonder why I wanted to help them so much. Shouldn't I be trying to help myself?

Oh yes. I knew that if I made a mistake with them, it wouldn't affect me. I was willing to make a mistake with them. I couldn't make a mistake with Hinata.

I know it seems selfish. Very selfish. I suppose that's just the bottom layer, the most prevalent reason to my being so intent of getting them together. I know there's more, I really do. I just can't organize my thoughts well enough.

"What do you want to eat?" Sasuke asked me. I snapped out of my thoughts,

"Oh… um, whatever you want to make…"

"Okay, we'll let Itachi decide. What do you want, aniki?"

"I already ate, _and_ I'm going to breakfast with Orochimaru, Sasuke…" he told Sasuke. I supposed this meant Sasuke would be asking me what I wanted again.

"So does that mean you want some small pancakes?"

"Yeah, that'll work." Itachi said. I smiled. I never really thought of Itachi as being able to eat a lot, like the stereotypical teenager, but I was wrong.

"Neji, is pancakes okay with you?"

I nodded. I wasn't very hungry, but I would eat whatever he made me to humor him.

Itachi left the house, telling us to be good and not do anyone he wouldn't do, making me blush quite red.

"Neji, I'm so confused," Sasuke told me, flopping himself down on the couch; I sat down next to him. Why was I here? Did he honestly think I could solve his problems! I was just as confused!

"Neji… could you give her up?" he asked. I swallowed. I knew what my answer was, but I was reluctant to answer. I didn't know what he wanted me to say, or where my answer would lead. If I said no, it would led into two probable conversations, Sasuke saying that he could not give up Itachi either, or he would get angry and demand why Hinata was more important to me than he was. If I said yes, Sasuke might reply 'Oh, since you can give her up, I can give up Itachi' and I didn't want to make him believe that. What did he want me to say?

"…I don't know Sasuke, I don't think I could… and I'm sorry. I can not replace her, but I can try to, if you want me too…" I finally said. I wanted to help him more than I wanted to help myself, because he was more important to me than I was.

"Last night, Neji, when I was sleeping next to Itachi, we started talking about you briefly, then we stopped for a little, talking about Orochimaru instead, then we got back to you… he told me that he wanted me to try dating you, because Hinata is interested in Naruto, he regards you as the only one worthy of me, and because he thinks you can give me what he can't. I don't know what he meant by that… I wish I did. Neji, I thought about it all night… and, well, I would really like to give it a try. Please, just help me?"

"Sasuke." I whispered. He started moving closer to me, laying his head on my lap. I ruffled his hair. Why? I wanted to help him… I honestly did. But why did he want me to help him like this? I didn't want to be his. If I was wishing for something, it'd be that him and I were to switch places. Him being in love with Hinata and me being in love with his brother. It'd be so much easier. Or Itachi with Hinata, then Sasuke and I both get it out of the way and just get together. Augh! Oh… oh my god, that feels nice. I just then realized that Sasuke was on my lap and nibbling at my ear, running his hands through my hair, having a firm grip on my head.

"Sasuke." I said in a tone that told him to stop, which he didn't. I let my eyes close for a few moments, getting sucked into how great Sasuke was making me feel, then snapped them back open. "Sasuke!"

"What?" he asked, grinning.

"What we did last night… look… I think that what we did put a strain on our friendship, especially since I am in love with Hinata, and you are in love with your brother. Sasuke, you're my best friend. I love you like a… like a brother," _Bad example. Dumb shit,_ I scolded myself, "Well, like…. Like uh… not in the way you love your brother…"_ Great…_ "But I honestly… I honestly…" _Let's put this in terms he can understand_ "I would rather have a relationship, both the intimate and the friendship like parts, with Hinata."

He blinked. Staying true to one person was a concept Sasuke never really understood.

"I don't think we should ever do _that_… the wild love thing…. again. I respect you too much to use you like that, Sasuke."

He glared at me. "What the fucking hell? Do you know just how many people love me?"

"At least half the school," I shrugged casually.

"Two hundred twenty six kids out of two hundred and sixty. Do you know how unlikely it was that I picked you?" I did it quickly in my head, that was about 87 percent of the school.

"Well if you factor in our relationship before hand…" I began to explain to him why it was more likely that he'd choose me with a mathematical principle, but he interrupted me.

"Shut up Neji! Just shut up! I so do not need this right now! It's bad enough being gay at this age, but then add in 'in love with my brother', 'crushing on my best friend' and 'parentless'… just what the hell were you thinking you asswhole?"

"You're not a fucking martyr, Sasuke! Stop with the stupid self pity act. You always said how you liked how different I was, notice the word different, as in not the same as the majority, as in unlikely to be part of the 226/260 equation. Screw this, I'm leaving. Go get fucked by your brother," I scruffed, picking up my shirt from yesterday, car keys, and backpack.

"Get the hell out of my house! I'll set Itachi on you and then we'll see whose getting fucked by him!" he yelled. His voice was breaking, and his eyes were brimmed red.

Shit. What have I done? I hurt my best friend. No, this wasn't my fault. I tried… damn who am I kidding; I should have just let him have his fun…

"Sasuke!" I called. I didn't want this to be the end. We needed to talk.

"GET OUT!" He screeched, throwing a glass ball at me. I dove to catch it, setting it gently in his mail box as I left the gates.

* * *

My eyes felt like they were bleeding, except it was just crying. How could I be so stupid? I rubbed them furiously, putting on a fake smile and some eyeliner before going by Starbucks to pick up Hinata. Rammstein was playing loudly through the car as I sped along. I figured it'd be nice to have messed up metaphoric German music to soothe me and help me think. But then it changed from track six on the mix cd, Mutter, to Spiel Mit Mir, which was about two brothers having sexual relations. I angrily skipped to the next song, Spieluhr, which had a little girl's voice that always reminded me of Hinata. I jammed the 'eject cd' button and threw the cd out the window, too messed up in the head at the moment to realize that I'd have to burn it again. 

Why was Destiny always such a bitch? I was thinking to myself as I pulled into the parking space. I opened the door of the Starbucks, still griping to myself on why fate worked in the way it did, and scanned the crowd for Hinata. I finally saw pink hair, and knew it was Sakura. I walked over to them, seeing Hinata, whose view had been obstructed from behind the shelves with the stylish cappuccino makers, and Naruto. Wait… Hinata AND Naruto. As in together. She was sitting in his arms, and he was kissing her temples. I reeled back in surprise, rubbing my eye (perhaps to check my vision, perhaps to prevent the tears that I knew would fall).

"Neji?" she gasped, scrambling off Naruto.

"Er- I'll just come back later…" I muttered, walking away.

"Neji, wait!" she called. I acted like I didn't hear her and just kept on walking. It was only 9:45 and already my day was total shit.

**

* * *

I'm sorry for the over use of swearing. I was kinda' depressed when I wrote this chapter, and I was trying to make it more teenager-istic.**

**Thank you to all my reviews as of yet, especially the one whose name I can't remember who recognized that a lot of this was based off Francesca Lia Blocke's 'Wasteland', which is the best book. EVER. **

**Sorry about the short chapter, I just knew I had to end it now otherwise it'd be like, a billion paged chapter.**

**Please review, thanks!**


	4. Shino joins the masquerade

"Neji!" Hinata called after me, running towards me. It was obvious I had heard her and couldn't go on pretending I hadn't. I stopped, painfully cringing. I was expecting her to fall to my feet, apologizing and asking my forgiveness for playing with me like that. But she smiled widely, wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"Naruto asked me out!" she squealed. I bit the inside of my lip and rubbed at my eyes, forcing a smile.

"Yay!" I said, hugging her. I tried to keep my distance. Another obstacle. Now this was not only illegal to act out my love, but it would also tarnish Hinata's morals to let me. I would also be hurting a fairly good friend of mine, as Naruto was in part of my social circle.

"I'm so happy! I've liked him for so long!" She whispered in a high pitched happy tone of voice. I got the feeling I wouldn't have a voice that happy for a long time. Hinata pulled me over to Sakura, Shino, Kiba and Naruto. I thought Shino was looking at me, but I could never really tell given his ultra dark sunglasses.

"Hey everyone," I said casually, trying to keep my voice from wavering. I coughed to clear my throat, I didn't know whether people could tell I had been crying. Life is shit. I sat next to Kiba, in a comfortable arm chair, farthest out from the rest of the group, farthest away from Hinata. Who was sitting with Naruto, who in turn had his arms wrapped around her. Cocky bastard.

"Where's Sasuke?" Naruto asked me. I shrugged.

"Probably at home," I muttered. Wasn't it just like that idiot to ask about him? It's as if he knew he could twist the knife in further and break me apart.

"How are you doing in your German class?" Sakura asked me, keeping the conversation topic on schoolwork, as that's why she was there.

"Last time the progress reports came out I was getting a high B…" I responded.

"Is it an easy or a fairly challenging language to learn?" she asked. I shrugged.

"It's fairly simple, I guess. I just feel it's a necessary language to know,"

"I'm thinking of switching in to it… there's this total whore in my French class that I'd really rather avoid. And besides, then Kiba and I can talk in German and it'll be like, our own private language,"

"Just don't go to Germany, then it won't be so private any more…" I told her. She shrugged.

"It won't be so private here either, like, our entire clique is in the German class anyways…"

She had a point. But it was kind of contradicting herself, so I just decided to drop the subject and not get into an argument.

I let my eyes dart from Naruto to Hinata, then to Shino. I swore he was looking at me. We left starbucks later, all of us meeting Tenten and Lee at the mall. I went off with Lee, Tenten, and Shino (who didn't want to be stuck with the couples) and probably preferred the stores we went to as opposed to the ones Kiba and Naruto dragged the girls to.

While in the middle of the pet store where Tenten worked, my cell phone rang. I was hoping it was Sasuke, but it turned out to be Hanabi instead.

"Hi Neji!"

"Hey, Ha-chan." I greeted.

"Neji, can you come pick me up and drop me off at Mr. Aburame's house for my art lesson? I would get daddy to do it but he's in a meeting. And mommy's at work."

"Sure. I'll be right there, I'm at the mall right now so I should be there in about 15 minutes."

"Kay, Thanks Neji!"

I put the phone back in my pocket and turned to my friends.

"Hey you guys, I have to go take my cousin to her art lesson."

"She takes lessons from my father, correct?" Shino asked. I nodded.

"May I get a ride home? I'd rather not take the bus and the mall makes me nauseous," he said.

"Yeah, sure."

"Bye Neji! Bye Shino!" Lee said. Tenten called her farewells too. If destiny needed a relationship to happen right now, why couldn't she have chosen Lee and Tenten? Or Shikamaru and Ino? Or if I'm really, really wishing, Hinata and I. But why Naruto and Hinata!

"Neji?" Shino said.

"Sorry," I muttered, snapping out of my thoughts. As we were walking this guy came up to me from behind and grabbed my ass.

"Is this guy your boyfriend?" he asked gesturing to Shino. I glared at the guy, punching him in the face.

"Never touch my ass!" I shouted. His eyes widened and he examined me closer, having already gotten back up. "Wait, are you a guy or a girl?"

"What the fcksaj cpjfn #Z&!#9&$)&)4&z0W$75027&)489-)z! What the hell are you on!" I bitched.

"Ah shit man! I touched a guys ass…"

Shino chuckled, amused. I glared at him.

"That wasn't funny."

"My, Neji, I find that quite amusing." He told me as we kept walking. Why the hell did I have to park all the way on the other side of the mall! I knew that I would be spending most of my time on this half. Idiot.

"I am so friggin sick of guys thinking I'm a girl! I don't even look like a girl!" I huffed. Shino stayed silent, and turned his head the other way. I assumed he was avoiding eye-contact.

"What, you thought I was a girl too?"

"…"

"You're silence gives it away more than a yes would…" I told him. He shrugged, smiling underneath his long "gothic-but-not-trying-to-be-which-makes-it-even-more-so-gothic" black and green striped scarf.

"You're a very pretty boy, Neji. Even more so pretty than even Hinata. So what if people think you're a girl, you like guys anyways."

Shino normally didn't talk this much. But it was nice. I admired Shino, he was a splendid person, I had just never really bothered to get to know him better. He was silent around Kiba and Hinata.

"I like both," I huffed. We were still walking through the mall, but at least we could see the exit.

"People think I'm gay, because I never liked any girl."

"Oh?"

"But I did. I thought Hinata and I would marry because she didn't think I was a freak. Then when I met you… I thought you were a girl, but when I realized you were a guy it faded. And then I met someone else. Someone that you know very well."

I assumed he wanted to tell me, and I assumed he wanted me to help him get that girl. But, as selfish as it seemed, I couldn't deal with other people's romantic lives. So I decided to change the subject.

"So you wouldn't have sex with any guy?"

"No…?"

"Not even Kiba?"

"…I think you have very strange sexual fantasies if you can imagine Kiba and I in the act of fornication."

"What about Sasuke,"

"I'm not really into that commitment-less stuff, I want a relationship, not a sexual experience. I mean, Sasuke's a great guy, and even a straight guy knows he's a hot guy. But frankly, he's so horny; he'd even fuck his brother if Itachi was so inclined."

I laughed, thinking to myself that if only he knew.

Hanabi climbed into the front seat of the car after having an argument with Shino about why she should get the front. The great and horrible thing about Hanabi was that she could argue her way into almost anything. She got her science teacher to change her D minus into a B plus with out the need to resort to sexual persuasion.

She could probably get me to prance around naked and think it was a good idea if she ever felt the need to. Which she probably wouldn't want to see. But you never know when you would need you're older (arrogantly, narcissistically, wonderfully delicious) cousin to be prancing around naked.

**

* * *

Annoying POV switch  
Hanabi, first person**

* * *

I persuaded Shino-kun to give me the front seat. I'm pretty good at getting my way, and use it to my advantage. It must be because I'm just so cute. I looked at Neji, concentrating too hard on the road so he wouldn't have to talk to either Shino-kun or myself. 

"Neji, are you alright?" I asked. He nodded, but gave me a look that said otherwise.

"Did something happen to Sasuke and or Hinata?" I asked. He would tell me. I would make him. He gestured with his eyebrow to the rearview mirror, and I remembered that Shino was in the car. Well, there was no harm in him acting concerned for his best friend and cousin, was there? So I persisted.

"Sasuke and I got in a fight. Hinata is fine," he said. His voice turned fake and eerily happy. "In fact, she's got herself a boyfriend!" he grinned. If he thought that Shino would think that he was actually happy for Hinata, than he must not think too highly of Shino. I gasped.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, and then clasped my hand over my mouth, looking at Shino through the rear view mirror. He didn't appear to have a reaction, but I could never tell. I didn't know him very well; he was just my art teacher's son. Sometimes he filled in for his father, but not very often. He was kinda' hot.

"So, who is Hinata dating?" I said quickly. He put in a cd, and immediately I expected Rammstein, a band which I could not stand, but instead it was the mix cd Hinata and I had made him randomly. The first song being a Swedish pop song that I had found randomly on Kazaa.

"She's dating Naruto." Shino told me.

"That idiot?" I shrieked loudly, giggling. Neji lost to that idiot. I felt Neji glaring at me and calmed down.

"So why'd you and Sasuke get in a fight?"

"Because I wouldn't have sex with him." He told me. I was unsure of whether or not he was sarcastic or not, and that lead me to think whether he was sarcastic or not last night when he told me that had.

"Well I can't blame him. I'd get mad if you didn't want to have sex with me either," I joked awkwardly.

Stupid thing to say, really. Neji loved Hinata. He didn't love me. I'm not going to lie. It bothered me. I love my sister and all, but I'm better than her at everything. So why didn't Neji love me? It's not that I wanted to have a relationship with Neji, it just confused me. If I couldn't get him to love me….

I was certain I could convince Neji to do anything for me. And Neji is a stubborn person, if I could convince him to lust after me instead of my sister, I could get anyone. I'm sure of it. I glanced at Shino. I could even get Shino. Not that I'd want him, even though he was kinda' hot.

There was an extremely awkward silence. I wished I hadn't said that.

"So what does your dad have planned for me today?" I asked Shino. I hated silence, and I hated not being the center of attention. In fourth grade I had to see a counselor due to my histrionic personality disorder.

"I don't know. Did you finish the water color painting you were working on last week?"

"Yeah, I plan to give it to daddy for daddy's day."

"I'm assuming, then, that you'll be starting on acrylics."

Neji skipped the next song, which was the Barbie Girl song in Dutch, and then the next which was the Smurf theme song techno remixed, and finally settled on The Phantom of the Opera.

I talked about random bull shit until we got to Shino's house. Neji was biting the inside of his mouth harshly, his lip was bleeding and I could see tears entering his eyes. I didn't want to leave him.

Shino seemed to notice it too.

"Neji seems pretty upset about Hina—er, about getting in a fight with Sasuke. I don't know if we should leave him alone." I told Shino outside his house.

"I'll stay with him." He said. I hugged him.

"Thanks." I whispered. He patted my head.

"He'll be fine." He told me.

**

* * *

Sorry about the short chapter… **

**Please review! **

**There will be more Naruto, I promise! _+cries+_**


	5. Selfless dance

**Not my characters.**

**

* * *

Sasuke's POV**

* * *

Itachi came home with Orochimaru, Kisame, and Kabuto, while I was still sobbing. I didn't mean for them to see me cry. Especially Itachi. I hadn't realized that they had come in until I heard Itachi's say, 

"Sasuke, what was mothers crystal ball thingy doing in the Mail Box... Oh shit, are you okay?" he came over to my side and wiped my eye with his thumb.

"Ooh, Sexy Sasuke's sad." Orochimaru said, giggling. Itachi looked up to him and cleared his throat angrily.

"Sasuke? What happened?" Itachi asked again.

"Nothing… just stuff that Neji said." I told him.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked. I looked at the three other people, who were standing around awkwardly.

"No…"

"Oh… well they'll be leaving soon. They're just going to borrow some movies… that are not at all gay porn and sexual techniques…" he paused awkwardly, looking at the wall. "Orochimaru, you know where they are, can you take them and then escort them out?"

"If you think your little brother is more important than you and I watching porn together than…"Orochimaru said.

"It's fine Itachi, go watch… those movies with your friends. It is more important than me…"

"Orochimaru-kun," Kabuto cut in, "We really should be leaving anyways."

"But I want Itachi to be with ussssssss!" he whined.

"Orochimaru. Do not make me repeat myself!" he commanded coldly, pushing away my bangs. He would give me the same response if I tried to convince him to spend time with his friends, so I didn't bother. I didn't want him to in all honestly, but I did want to seem less needy and like a better person or something.

They left, though Orochimaru was none too happy.

"Sorry, Itachi, for making you give up time spent with friends," I said, coughing up the sadness by clearing my throat.

"It's okay. Kabuto gets on my nerves. Though I really should not have left him alone with Orochimaru… I guess he won't try anything with Kisame there, though." He laughed. "So what did Neji say?"

"Oh, it's not important."

"Sasuke…" he said in a firm tone. "People, you especially, don't cry when _nothing_ happens. What did Neji do?"

"Well I told him I wanted to date him, since we could help each other with a similar problem,"

"What problem?"

"Nothing relevant to what happened. Anyways, he said no, so I got angry at him. Then he got angry at me for expecting him to be ordinary, so I yelled at him for hurting me especially since my life hasn't been the greatest, so he told me to stop being a fucking martyr and go get fucked by my brother!" I said angrily.

"Wait- what? Neji said what?"

"…Um… yeah…." I stammered. I hadn't meant to let any of our incestuous shit out to Itachi. "He told me to go get fucked by… you."

"For someone in love with someone of his own family, he was being a hypocrite." Itachi said angrily. Neji was such an asshole. I hate him.

"Why do you think he said that in particular?" he asked. Damn I never should have let it slip. Itachi would find out. He got like, 160 percent in psychology because he was just too god damned good at it, because he had always wanted to find out how he could have stopped mom and dad from killing themselves. "Neji wouldn't say anything blunt and stupid off the top of his head, he knows you well enough to say things that would hurt, and that way he doesn't have to waste his time sounding stupid. Also, it makes his arguments stronger. So why did he say that…?"

Damn it. "I don't know. Maybe because we're close or something --- I mean he has incest on his mind all the time…" I said.

"No, Neji is smarter than that, he wouldn't have said something offensive about his own life style." Itachi kept tip toeing around, when I was sure he knew, especially since he seemed so solemn, but his eyes glinting amusedly.

"Well remember that one time when you were wasted and you…?"

"I'm so sorry about that. I should have been more responsible in my alcohol consumption than I wouldn't have done that to you… but anyways…"

"Meh, its okay… well, I told Neji about it. He probably thought that we had the same problem he had with Hinata, only more active." It was so hard to lie, to not slip up.

"So let's analyze this. Neji said… that, because he was led to believe that we are incestuous, and he knew it would hurt. Now the only question left is why would it hurt you as it did?"

"…" I couldn't say anything. I swear he was just seconds away from figuring it out.

"I've got it!…Oh…oh. Um… excuse me, I think I need to…." He got up and walked upstairs to his room, a shocked look on his face. Shit! I called after him.

"Itachi! It's nothing like that!" I shouted, running up after him a jiggling his door knob. Locked. SHIT!

"Itachiiiiiiii!" I whined.

"Sasuke," I heard his voice faint from inside. "Whatever I did to you to make you this way, I'm sorry. If I could, I would reverse it. Please leave me be…"

I hit the wall angrily with my forehead. I had to call Neji. Oh yeah, I couldn't call him. He hated me…. Bastard.

**

* * *

NEJI**

* * *

Shino got back into the car. "I thought you wanted a ride home." 

"Hanabi and I both agree that you should not be left alone. Now, I know that there is something more than just the fight with Sasuke. But if that truly is what is making you sad, you should resolve it."

"What?" I asked. He handed me my cell phone. "I don't think I should.

"Either call him or I'll knock you unconscious, hijack your car, drive to his house and leave you there."

"I'd like to see you try!" I retorted angrily. He raised his eyebrow at me threateningly. "Okay, maybe I wouldn't like to see you try…" I grabbed the cell phone and dialed Sasuke's number.

"Hello?"

"Sasuke… it's me. I…"

"Neji what is your problem? Because of YOU Itachi KNOWS!"

"How is that my fault?" I asked, a bitter tone in my voice.

"Because he came home and I was crying and I told him what you said to me and he analyzed WHY YOU SAID THAT! So get the fuck away from me, or I swear to god I will kill you. Go rape your cousin and leave me out of your stupid game, you nasty bastard!"

"You hypocrite! How is my relationship with my cousin nasty when you're going around wanting to fuck your brother? Why the fuck did I even try to apologize? You're an asshole. And I can say one thing for you, Itachi is way too hot for you, whore." I hung up the phone and threw it carelessly into the back seat.

"Neji." Shino's voice interrupted. "None of this is my business, but I have heard what you've said. And it sure as hell wasn't an apology."

"I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch, but leave me alone." I said. He shrugged. I let my head rest on the steering wheel and started choking on tears. I coughed loudly to stop myself from sobbing.

"Neji. What is this really about? If this was about Sasuke you'd have sucked it up and apologized."

"I just feel like a total hypocrite! He has the same problems I do and I don't help him! That's just horrible karma!"

"The same problem? You mean you love someone in your family in a lustful way?" he asked, not seeming concerned or upset by the fact. I nodded, rubbing at my eyes with the back of my wrist.

"Hanabi?" he asked quickly. I shook my head. He sighed, seemingly relieved. I looked at him questioningly and he shook his head. "So Hinata then?" I coughed loudly, my reluctance to answer giving it away.

"It's a bit untraditional, but if you love her…" he seemed a little uncomfortable, but was hiding it, so he wouldn't hurt my feelings.

"I'm sorry." he said softly. I shrugged, trying to save face by not breaking down in front of him. I shoved my bangs back with my fingers and redid the tie around my hair nervously.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked. I was surprised how well my words came out, given how much sorrow, it seemed, was making residence in my throat.

"Well, if you don't want to you don't have to, but I need to return a book that a friend lent me. Can you give me a ride?" he asked. I shrugged. Wallowing in my own sea of tears and self hating misery could wait a little while.

"Whose house is it?" I asked.

"You probably don't know them, they're guardian is a friend of my fathers. I'll give you directions." He said.

Fifteen minutes later I found myself entering the gates to the Uchiha estates. I rubbed my eyes and glared at Shino angrily, feeling stupid that I hadn't noticed where I was going.

"What? I really do need to return a book to Sasuke." Shino said defensively, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door slowly, "Come on, you don't even have to talk to him. Just go hang out with Itachi or something."

I shrugged, still angry at him, but given that he was brave enough and obviously cared about Sasuke's and mine's friendship, I reluctantly trudged after him to the house.

But how could I be here? Just this morning I had ruined someone life in this very house, and now I'm going back to see the very same person?

"Shino?" I asked before he rang the doorbell. He turned to me, lowering his hand from the button on the wall, signaling me to start talking.

"I know it's kind of a… pansy-ish thing to ask of you, but could you please tell Sasuke that you tricked me into coming and that you'd like him to… I dunno', forgive me?" I mumbled, biting the inside of my lower lip nervously as I spoke, feeling the flesh tear slowly.

Shino nodded, and then proceeded to ring the doorbell.

Sasuke answered the door, looking as miserable as I felt, and as miserable as I assumed I looked as well. I looked awkwardly at my feet, refusing to look Sasuke in the eyes. I could feel his anger burning into me as he carved artistic patterns of hate into my body with his hurtful eyes.

"Sasuke." Shino diverted Sasuke's attention to himself, "You invited me here a few days ago, to work on the Japanese project." Shino said, a fished a Japanese textbook out of his bag, which also held a lap top and drawing supplies within it.

"Oh… maybe it's not really a good time. I mean… and why is Neji here?"

"The project is due Tuesday, and it's Saturday, and we haven't even started. And Neji is here because I tricked him into giving me a ride to your house so that you two could make up."

The blunt honesty of Shino's answer made me a tad uncomfortable. How could he be so truthful all the time?

"Make up? Do you even know what he did, Shino?" Sasuke asked bitterly, his voice rising in an intimidating manner.

"I don't care, really. And it's not really your place to ask him to leave, either. Itachi might want to talk to him about the German or English end of the year projects." Shino said. I was biting my lip, tearing the skin away with my teeth and running my tongue over the stinging flesh after I had ripped the skin away.

"Fine. Itachi's in his room. Shino, we can work in my room." Sasuke said coldly. There was an odd thing about Shino, you couldn't argue with him. Everything he said was painfully practical.

I stepped inside the house after Shino and Sasuke had, feeling strange and almost alien in this place now, even though I had been here so often.

I didn't actually need to talk to Itachi, but I figured I might as well, seeing as that was really the only thing to do.

I walked to his bedroom, and knocked on the door lightly, catching Sasuke's dirty look before he slammed the door to his own room. I heard the faint, but distinct sound of the door locking.

"Sasuke," Itachi said from inside, "I already told you…"

I interrupted. "It's Neji."

"Oh…" I heard him walk to the door and unlock it, opening it and peering around outside before deciding it was safe to let me in.

I sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite side from the mirror. Itachi was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, eyes darting around. I assumed he was trying to occupy his mind on the bumps on the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Neji. This is all my fault, really." Itachi said at last.

"How do you figure?" I asked.

"I don't know… but I think it is. Like, if I had never caused him to love me, you guys wouldn't have done it last night because Sasuke wouldn't have been hurt and wouldn't have sought refuge in you. Then, since you didn't do it, you wouldn't have had the conversation this morning. And then I wouldn't have analyzed everything and found out that my little brother was horny for me."

"No. It's not your fault Itachi. Sasuke can't help the way he feels, you know. All you ever did was try to raise him well. That's more than I can say for a lot of parents." I said back, not sure if I really meant it or not.

"Thanks. But still… like, maybe if I had never been sexually promiscuous or if I hadn't touched him those times, or if I hadn't let him sleep next to me a bunch…"

I shook my head. "I know that I would still feel that way about Hina—I mean the person I like. Oh screw it, everyone else seems to have guessed it anyways, I doubt you wouldn't have guessed… I know that I would still feel how I do with Hinata just because she's Hinata, not because we've shared beds or kissed playfully, or bonded. All you did was be a good older brother." I told him. He shrugged.

"I still shouldn't have touched him." He said sadly, "No matter how drunk I was. It was irresponsible and… and dirty." I stood up and walked over to where Itachi was lying, sitting myself next to him.

"Don't let this ruin your relationship." I said. "He's still, and will always be, your little brother. That's a magnificent relationship to have."

He smiled at me, not a very large smile, but a smile all the same. I wish I could take my own advice, though.

"It'd be a whole lot easier, though, if it had just all never happened. And I'm sure you think the same about Hinata."

I shrugged. "Sometimes. But sometimes I also think that there's a possibility that we could some day be together. I mean… we are Hyuuga's and it was not an uncommon thing for Hyuuga's to do in the past."

He sat up, leaning against the wall, hair falling over his face.

"Neji, what do you think would make him get over me?"

"Well if there was anything, I totally ruined it this morning."

Itachi laughed dimly. I kept talking. "I did always think he had a soft spot for Naruto."

"Everyone has a soft spot for Naruto. I mean, honestly, I can see him getting together with almost anyone. Even like, Kisame…"

"I wouldn't be surprised. Kisame does seem like a pedophile." I said, getting the feeling that I missed his point. He shook his head,

"I mean that they're an odd couple, but there's still something about it that works. Like, honestly, who can't you see Naruto with?"

It was an odd conversation, but eventually we decided it was the best idea we could come up with. Get Naruto and Sasuke together. I was even more satisfied with the plan because not only was I helping Sasuke, but I was getting Hinata back. I had been thinking that I would just subtly convince him that he didn't love Hinata, have him be attracted to me, make out with him in a place that I knew she would see us, and then after she broke up with him, I would apologize and comfort her. But I liked this better, because it didn't have the opportunity for Hinata to hate me. I felt a little evil thinking stuff like this. But I don't care.

"Neji," Itachi said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turned to him. "Thanks. Er…. I'll convince Sasuke to not be angry at you any more." I smiled. He knew how important Sasuke was to me. But if he couldn't do it, I wouldn't blame him. I had really hurt him. Much more than he hurt me. I was unjustified to do that to him, and I felt awful.

"Itachi," I said after a long silence. "The reason I didn't say yes to Sasuke was because I didn't want him to lie to himself and pretend not to love you. I would've dated him, really, but I didn't think it would do him any good. Sasuke is very important to me, and I would give up my chances with Hinata to make him happy. If he doesn't fall in love with Naruto…" I didn't really know what I was trying to say, resulting in me babbling a whole bunch. I think I was trying to tell Itachi that I didn't want Sasuke to have to lie to himself. Itachi smiled at me, and I gulped nervously. Itachi was really hot and that smile was…

"You're very pretty Neji. If I were Sasuke I think I'd prefer to have sexual intercourse with you, not me," he told me. I swallowed nervously. Today was turning out to be one fucked up day. Especially if it wasn't my imagination and Itachi was, in fact, hitting on me. I didn't know quite how to react, so I jokingly said,

"If I were Sasuke I'd prefer to have sex with me too…"

Itachi leaned towards me, tenderly moving a strand of hair and caressing my strange birthmark in the center of my forehead. Sometimes, when my uncle is mad at me, I feel it singe with pain. I was uncertain of how react to this contact from Itachi so I stayed still and let him trace the 'X' shaped mark on my forehead softly with the tip of his thumb. He leaned in closer. I could feel my teeth ripping my flesh inside my mouth, pulling me away from the happy thought of _'Oh my god, Itachi just wanted to kiss me!'_ and making me realize how uncool that was.

"So, how's Orochimaru?" I asked suddenly. He backed up, seemingly disappointed at my sudden question.

"I dunno'… we just got together a few weeks a go, but I get the feeling he's already cheating on me. I mean, he's not exactly the most normal person when it comes to relationships…"

I didn't really know what to say, but I couldn't help wondering if that's why he had wanted to kiss me. To get back at Orochimaru? To cause someone else to hurt?

Than why didn't he just get his little brother to be that person? Someone who he _knew_ would help him.

"Well, I think he should get the benefit of the doubt until you can get Kabuto or him to fess up, or catch him in the act." I said after a short while. He sighed.

"I suppose," he said with a casual shrug. I couldn't tell if Itachi wanted to kiss me anyways, but I was determined not to let my sex drive get the better of me, so I convinced myself I wouldn't let him.

"Hinata and Naruto are dating," I told him. He looked at me strangely.

"This adds complications to our Sasuke with Naruto plan then…" he said. I shook my head, using hand gestures to

"But the benefits are far greater. You get a normal little brother and I get my Hinata." I told him.

"Hinata, eh?" he asked. I nodded. He shrugged again. "I always thought you and her were just, in love. Like, you didn't think about it or acknowledge it, it just _was_. I never realized it was just you."

I shrugged. "I think neither of just didn't realize for a long time that it wasn't normal for cousins to do what we did. Nothing ever sexual, but definitely closer than most cousins come." I told him. "And it'd be more awkward to stop doing it and admit we were weird than to just keep doing what's become normal for us."

I hoped what I had said made sense, and I assume it did because he nodded. It was awkwardly silent for a moment. Refusing to look Itachi in the eyes, I let my eyes dart around his bedroom. I'd been in here many times before, so it wasn't as much a surprise to me any more as it had been the first time I saw it.

On the wall were posters of musicians Itachi liked, a beautiful Pakistani woman, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and E Nomine. I could not even begin to imagine where he'd gotten an E Nomine poster, as they weren't exactly a well known band. And even more to my surprise (at the time) an N'Sync poster. I didn't like either, but if I had to choose between the two, I'd be a Backstreet Boys fan, because the N'Sync people were more ugly. In my opinion, anyways. His desk was littered with crumpled papers, and it amazed me how his computer fit amongst all the mess.

His alarm clock was Bad Badzt Maru, a present most likely from me, as I had a strange obsession with Sanrio, but I don't remember. Sasuke and I had been friends since we were six, and there had been a lot of opportunities for giving alarm clocks as gifts to Itachi. On a shelf there were stuffed animals, a wide variety, but mainly bunnies. I could not, honestly, imagine Itachi going to a store and saying "Oh how cute! Bunny!" and then going up to the cash register and paying for it… But I suppose he must have. On his bed side table was a photograph of him, Sasuke, and some woman who I knew was not their mother. I assumed she just stepped in the way of the camera. Next to it was a photo (that I hadn't seen there before) of Orochimaru, in a strange, handmade (sloppily done with poorly cut construction paper) frame. There was also a lamp, and a book with a bookmark half way through titled _Advanced Psychology_.

After being aware that I had not spoken for a while, I turned back to Itachi.

"So what are you doing for the final English project?" I asked, unable to think of anything else.

"Oh? The short story?"

"I wouldn't call a minimum of 40 pages short," I said jokingly, "But compared to most novels, the short story."

"I dunno'… I started sketching this girl one time, and she was holding hands with this guy, and I couldn't get his expression right, so he looked very… unreal and imagined. So I was just like 'That's he imaginary friend'. So I started with those characters and she thinks he's real or something… not very good, but it seems to be loaded with symbolism, so the teacher should like it. What's yours?"

"Well, it starts where there's this goddess. And this stronger god is trying to kill her or weaken her or something. So she splits her soul into two halves, and they become two girls, mostly identical, on two different realities. And then one of them, the one from this world, is led by her guardians, teenagers like herself, to the world where the other is so that they can become the goddess again."

"Sounds interesting." Itachi said. I shrugged.

"Not really. I'll probably just end up writing about some fairy, because I can't seem to get started on the other one."

Itachi smirked. "Yeah, writing is such a hassle."

It was strangely silent again after that, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. I was a little upset that I didn't let him kiss me, but I was glad at the same time. He seemed to still want to, but I couldn't really tell with Itachi. His face was near mine, his eyes steadily focused while mine just moved around the room, tracing the patterns on the comforter, to avoid eye contact. Eventually, I let our eyes meet. He leaned in, slightly, slowly. My heart was pounding loudly, and I could feel it throbbing against my chest. In my head, all thoughts of 'I shouldn't be doing this' and any variation of that thought were pushed down by the thought _'Itachi is gonna' kiss me!'_. He got closer still, lips parting. I blinked for a moment, and then shut my eyes. His lips met mine, and then suddenly we both jerked away.

"…" Sasuke was in the room, holding a telephone, looking shocked. I felt my heart sink, feeling like a total idiot. How could I…. have done this to Sasuke? How could Itachi do this to Sasuke?

"Itachi….er…. telephone. It's the snake," he stammered, and angrily threw the phone at Itachi, and stormed out of the room.

"Sasuke!" I called after him, following him quickly down the stairs. Shino looked at me questioningly as I passed him, but I said nothing and continued to follow Sasuke. I caught up, and pushed him up against the wall, gently but forcefully.

"Sasuke, just listen to me! I—"

"Shino had just talked me into forgiving you! I can let all the other things slide but how could you do that?" he was screaming loudly, his voice cracking slightly from the force of tears in his throat.

"I… I… I'm sorry! I didn't know what was happening,"

"Oh yeah, it always takes me a few minutes to realize _I'm_ being kissed!"

"Sasuke… I… please."

"Please what? Support you to be a whore?"

"No. I—"

"Neji, how? HOW? You're nothing, but you've some how gotten _two_ Uchiha's to want to get in your pants! You've _somehow_ gotten someone I couldn't get, and you've somehow gotten to _be someone_ I couldn't get!"

"Sasuke! I didn't want to go out with you so that you would have a chance with Itachi!"

"Then why were you kissing him?" He demanded loudly.

"He's just upset and I was there… It meant nothing to him and it meant little to me!"

Shino and Itachi were watching us from the bottom of the stairwell. Itachi grimaced.

"Honestly, Sasuke!"

He shook his head, tears falling down his face violently; he was struggling to get out of my grip. He could have gotten away if he tried hard enough. I lifted his hands above his head.

"I didn't want to make you lie to yourself… but if you are this willing to, than…" I took a deep breath, "Than I'll date you."

He looked up at me, tears still falling, but eyes wide. "What about Hinata?" he asked me.

"Dating Naruto." I said, trying to hide my anger at the thought. I would lie to Sasuke. I hated hurting him, and smothered down all my doubts.

"Neji… I…" He pulled his hands from out of my grip, and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into a kiss.

I let him kiss me. I had to be selfless. I couldn't make Hinata mine, and I couldn't bear to see her unhappy. Selfless. I couldn't bear to see Sasuke unhappy either. So I was giving myself and my happiness up. For both of them. _Selfless..._

**Yeah…. Sorry about the long wait. Naruto will be in more! I promise! Please review! Thank you: D**


	6. Crashing down

Hinata came home with Naruto. Sasuke, Shino, and I sat in the living room. Sasuke sat between my legs playing King of Fighters on the Play station while I tried to do math with him there. Shino was letting Sasuke win, focusing more on eating cheese sticks with one hand than winning at a silly game.

"Hi you guys!" Naruto said, sitting down next to Shino and taking a big, unoffered bite from Shino's snack. Hinata sat down between Naruto and me, taking his hand in hers and sitting silently, watching the epic battle that played on the screen. I tried to focus on Sasuke, and not Hinata. Tried to smile at Sasuke's cute focus on winning KOF, tried to pay attention to his fingers go red as he jammed down angrily on buttons. But while I noticed all of this, all I paid attention to was her. Her cute focus on the screen as she made up a story in her head as to why they were fighting each other, and the way her fingers were delicately laced around Naruto's.

Shino pretended to care when Sasuke beat him, but it was obvious he was happy that there was time for him to go find something else from the fridge.

"May I get anyone anything?" Hinata asked, standing up. Sasuke shook his head, looking through the guide book for character attacks.

Naruto asked for ramen. I got up and followed her into the kitchen, hugging her from behind.

"I thought you were mad at Sasuke," she whispered, adding hot water to the Styrofoam cup from the insta-hot. I shook my head.

"We had a disagreement. We're together now, though."

She looked up at me, I couldn't read her expression, but eventually she sank into a smile.

"That's great!"

I nodded. "And you look quite…. cute with Naruto." She blushed.

"I suppose I'm a bit surprised that both of us are in a relationship…" she said, "I thought our relationship with each other would always prohibit it."

"What?" I asked, rummaging through the cupboard for a cup of ramen to hand to her. She took it gratefully.

"Well, we're very close, Neji… often a type of fun, care-free relationship like ours leads to dysfunction with other people. I never really sought a romantic relationship because each time I tried all I wanted to do was come back home and be with you. What we had was better than the romantic crap I had with any other guy. And I always got the feeling that you didn't date other people just so that you could stay there to protect me."

"Hinata… I never felt like I needed to protect you. I just lover you more than any one."

She smiled. "Even Sasuke?" she whispered. I laughed.

"Of course," I mouthed.

The ramen was steaming hot and Naruto was very appreciative to get it. As soon as I sat down Sasuke backed up into my lap, not breaking his concentration from the game. He was winning still, because Shino did not care. He was carefully pulling the strings from his cheese and occasionally blocking an attack or two. Sasuke won the round, and took the three second pause to give me a quick peck on the cheek. I hoped Hinata didn't see… didn't think we were too serious. So when she broke up with Naruto she would know that I would be her new one.

I heard the door open with a familiar small creak and heard feet shuffle into the house. The door was closed silently.

"I'm home!" Hanabi called.

"We're playing King of Fighters," I called back. She entered the room.

"Oh wow. Lots of people." She said. She gave an inquisitive look to Shino who nodded. She gave a relieved sigh.

"Whose winning?" she asked. Sasuke proclaimed he was.

"Not for long," I heard Shino mutter. He finished his string cheese and focused intensely on the video game. His fingers performed what looked like a well trained ballet; I didn't even have to look at the screen to know Shino was winning.

"Shit… damn it! MOVE! I pressed the fucking 'A' button!" Sasuke complained. His life bar declined so quickly it was hard to imagine anything traveling faster. Hanabi laughed as Sasuke got his ass handed to him.

"My hero," she said, smiling at Shino. I had known Shino long enough to recognize when he smiled, and though Hanabi probably couldn't tell, I knew he was smiling back at her.

Monday came and by that time everyone at the school knew of the relationship between Sasuke and me. Several girls were upset that I had gay-ified Sasuke, but I thought they were stupid for not catching his queer vibes earlier. No one really gave us too much grief; our school was pretty much devoid of any one religious. And any one who was a homophobe didn't have too many friends. That way of thinking just wasn't accepted at our school.

Sasuke gave me a deep kiss between second and third period when I had bumped into him in the hall. People either stopped to cheer or just passed us by entirely. None of the teachers really minded.

"Meet me in the bathroom at lunch," he whispered. I nodded. Hinata tore herself away from the hug with Naruto to walk with me to our next class.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and we walked, hugging, into the room. We sat next to each other, as always; the teacher lectured about how rock stars are not an appropriate topic for reports. She held my hand throughout most of the entire class period.

"Neji," she said once work time began and the normal slur of conversation started up. "I'm a bit worried… I mean, Naruto has liked Sakura for so long. I don't think this will last as long as I had hoped it would." She bit her lip.

I shook my head. "Naruto is not as stupid as that… You can't even begin to compare her with you. Just trust him," the words slipped out of my mouth. I was trying to comfort her, and it was true… but I didn't want her to trust him. I wanted them to fall apart so I could comfort her when he broke her. I wanted her to realize that all guys besides me were ass holes.

Perhaps I was getting a little sadistic. I really didn't want Hinata to be hurt… but it's not like she would be hurt for long; I would make sure of that… I would never hurt her. But still, my own bitchy viciousness was scaring me.

She smiled. Damn, the speech worked… But it was okay. I was with Sasuke. I loved Sasuke. He was my best friend… my boy friend. But he wasn't her…

The way Sasuke acted with me made me assume he still loved Itachi, so I didn't feel too bad about feeling the way I did for Hinata. We already knew so much about each other, and it was basically like we always were except now he always wanted to make out. It was tough to not comply, too, which annoyed me. He was good at getting what he wanted from me. And I was bad at arguing with what he wanted.

I don't Sasuke's and my relationship is really all that healthy. I think we were using the lusty side of things to try and show each other we were in love with the other, not Hinata or Itachi. But all it was… was lust. I knew Sasuke and I wouldn't stay together, and if we did it would be a relationship of lies. We would never be fully honest with each other. I would tell him I loved him, as I helped him straighten his tie; kiss his temple in the car as we drove to Hinata or Itachi's eventual wedding or civil union ceremony. But when we sat there in the crowd and watched Hinata in her lacey white dress or Itachi in his leather tuxedo and crazy vinyl trench coat, we would bite our lips to keep the tears from streaming out onto our faces. When the minister said to crowd, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace," we would feel words come up our throat. With a glance to the other, the words would slip back down. We would take the others hand just to try to convince him that we weren't even considering shouting out to the one we really love. We would be silent the whole way through, leaving early, not being able to stand that the ones we loved were happy with someone else. We would be silent on the ride home, shutting down any comforting conversation made in attempt by the other of us. But when we got home, tears would start to stream down one of our faces, depending on whose wedding it was, and to get over it we would push the other one into bed and vent out all our depressed frustrations on the other.

And after each time we visited Hinata or Itachi, with their happy new family, at the end of the day we would have hard sex, sweat mingling with tears.

I didn't want to end up that way…

But it would be like that with any one, so as long as it was with someone who needed me, I figured I should keep it going for a bit longer. I just hoped that Itachi and Hinata didn't get married any time soon. Not that they would, though.

Lunch fell after fourth period. As I had promised, I met Sasuke in the bathroom; girls bathroom, of course, more romantic or something of the such. I didn't know, but that was where Sasuke liked to meet.

He pushed me up against the wall with a kiss, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. I wrestled his tongue with mine, a war for dominance. I let him win. I knew he liked to win, but he hated someone giving up without him even getting to fight. He ran his hands through my hair, crushing his lips against mine, slipping his knee in between my legs. He breathed out my name, in between kisses. His lips were soft, and I could taste something fruity, like a life saver or something. His hands went up my shirt, my hands went in his front pockets. I found the roll of life savers. Yoink. Mine now. He didn't mind, he just pressed me harder against the wall. He broke away from me and ran his tongue down my jaw. I shivered. His eyes held within them a dark intensity.

His hands went for my buttons.

"Sasuke, we're in school," I reminded him. He shrugged, and started licking at my chest. I kissed his temple.

"We'll do it after, at your house, okay?" I offered. He smiled.

"And we can do whatever I want?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Anything you want."

"Will you… wear a costume?" he asked. My shoulders went up and down again.

"Depends." I shrugged, "Nothing too short, nothing that will chafe… you know the drill."

"Well, although I'd love to see you in something short that would chafe you, I had something else in mind..." he paused and looked down at the floor, "Would you tie your hair back, wear eyeliner, paint your nails and toes, and wear my brothers… trench coat?" he bit his lip.

I knew it. "Sasuke…" I whispered.

"You—you don't have to, it was just an idea. Just forget it…"

I kissed his forehead and softly kissed his lips. "I said we could do anything," I breathed into his ear.

He looked relieved. I closed my eyes. This wasn't helping him. I unconsciously unwrapped a life saver from the roll and popped it into my mouth.

"Neji, it won't be like this forever… I promise you it won't. I—" I put my finger on his lips.

"It's fine. I'll give you as long as you need."

He kissed my eye lid and told me, in a breathy, needy whisper that he loved me.

"I love you too…" I told him. Was it wrong to lie about something like this? I wanted to talk to Itachi, get his psychological advice on the relationship, but the only opportunity to speak to him was either when I was around Sasuke or in English class, which Hinata was also in. There was never any time to get him on his own. I couldn't let Sasuke know I had doubts on this relationship.

"I'm a bit hungry," I told him, combing my hair with my fingers and straightening my shirt.

"Me too, let's go get lunch."

"I hope they're not serving that shitty crap with the brown sludgy sauce on it… that thing is fucking disgusting." I griped. Sasuke giggled politely, opening the door with his free hand, his other hand laced around my own.

"Should we eat off campus?" he asked. I nodded. Sasuke stopped walking. Itachi eyed us suspiciously. He was in the hall working on his laptop. Sasuke glanced down at his shoes uncomfortably. They were tall black leather boots with laces and steel toes.

"I thought I heard you two… kinky costumes?" he teased. "Didn't think you were the type to do that, Neji." I laughed.

"Yeah, I'll be wearing a pink lacey dress." I ran my finger down Sasuke's arm. Itachi shrugged.

"It'd look good on you," he turned to Sasuke, "I haven't even gotten Orochimaru to wear something for me, you must be doing something right."

"Yeah," he blushed, "Well, we're going to go eat each other out… I mean, eat out with each other… you know what I meant. I'm hungry let's go. Where do you want to go, Neji? I think Teriyaki sounds good? No? How about Dairy Queer… Queen? Yeah, we're going to Dairy Queen—the 'DQ'. Have fun staying here at school." He rambled, pulling me away. I waved.

"What was that all about?" I asked, buckling my seat belt. Sasuke turned the ignition and pulled out.

"I don't know."

"Sasuke?"

He sighed. "I can't talk to him any more… this is all so fucked. I mean, he's my brother. I should be able to say things around him, shouldn't I? He acts as if nothing happened, and I suppose that's the best thing to do, but it's also kind of… not."

Sasuke was an emotional driver; I knew this very well. I probably should have offered to drive. But I hadn't.

"I mean, fuck!" he said, turning to look at me.

"Er… Sasuke," I said, gesturing to the road with a nod of my head.

"What?"

"Sasuke!" I shouted, pointing to the road. But it was too late. He hit the car in front of us. The air bag pushed my face against the window. Blood gushed out my nose onto my clean white shirt. The one with the picture of the J-rocker, Hyde, on it! Damn!

"Shit, Neji, are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, pressing my hand to my nose. Sasuke's nose was bleeding too, and his face was already starting to show signs of light bruises.

The guy in front of us came out of his car to inspect the damage.

"Are you kids okay? I'm sorry, my brake wouldn't come off…" he stammered; most likely recognizing that the car that had crashed into him had a Hyuuga and an Uchiha in it.

"No, it was our fault," I said. Sasuke jerked off his seat belt, and I did the same, though with a tad more grace.

"You call the car place and then the hospital. I'll call your brother." I told him. Sasuke's face was getting more swollen and his car looked awful. He nodded, getting out his cell phone.

I dialed Itachi's cell number. "Hey, Itachi kun, it's Neji. Sasuke and I just got in a minor car crash. We'll be going to the nearest hospital to get the damage inspected."

"Neji? Oh god, is he alright? I shouldn't have let him go off campus to eat… he's a very emotional driver."

"Yeah, he is. We should be fine, just some bruises and bleeding," I had found a handkerchief in my back pocket and was pressing it to my nose.

"I'll tell your cousins; the smaller one just went into the bathroom. I'll find Hinata, I'll bring them to the hospital with me. I'll come as soon as I find Hinata…" I heard a door open on the other end. I could only assume Itachi had went into the girls bathroom. Not that I could judge….

"Hanabi! Neji got in a car crash! Hurry up and help me find your sister. Neji, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'll call your uncle, which hospital are you going to?"

I called over to Sasuke and asked him the hospital we were going to and repeated the name to Itachi.

"Okay, we'll be there soon."

"Are you okay?" I asked Sasuke. He shook his head. His lips were getting so big, I assumed he couldn't talk. I wondered how my face looked.

"We'll be fine, Itachi is on his way. He'll take care of you…"

He shook his head. "That's what I'm worried about…" he managed to squeeze out of his massive lips.

**Oh god, you all must hate me. It's been months since I last updated. I'm so sorry! I hope this chapter compensates for it… but it probably doesn't. I think the fight at the very beginning will have to be later than I had originally planned; I think instead of weeks I should have said months. Anyways, I hope you people are still reading this. Lol… **

**Reviews are very helpful in telling me what you guys want to hear, so I'd love your advice. Thanks. And sorry this chapter is so short. **


	7. AN UPDATE!

**Oh my god you guys I am sooo(times like, infinityt to the billionth power) sorry! See, on December 16th I skipped school to go to my old school and I haven't had stable computer access since. I'm only writing this now on my brothers computer because he's out of town with his girlfriend and some friends of his so... So yeah, and since it's been so long I actually forgot where I was trying to go with this. Again, I am so sorry. I have spent all weekend just on this so hopefully its plot and smut will be enough. I am so sorry! I don't expect this to be as good as my other chapters...**

**Sorry in advance for all spelling/grammar errors, this computer doesn't have word.**

**Also, I don't know when the next update will be given the circumstances. But hopefully not as long a wait as this one.**

* * *

**Sasukes POV**

* * *

Itachi. Was here. With me. His eyes so concerned, his fingers delicately parting my hair. He told me I looked like shit. 

"Thanks."

But I knew it was true. I tried to open my left eye, swolen shut and a crust of pus acting as an adhesive. Just thinking about it made me nausceous.

"I think your kinky costume thing should wait until you look a bit more attractive; it wouldn't be very nice to Neji to make him do stuff to you when you look like this. But I guess you're lucky because he still looks good so it won't be sickening to look at him."

Sometimes Itachi's logic made absolutely no sense. But it still seemed perfectly logical. There were several moments of silence and his facial expression changed to a softer one. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, closed it, and then opened it again.

"Sasuke- I don't ever want to lose you. If something happens to you I'll blame myself; but I want to be quite sure it's my fault. So from now on I... I'm not leaving your side. Obviously when you're with Neji I'll give you some alone time but..."

"...um."

What was wrong with him?

"I don't ever want you to live with the fact that you've made mistakes. I will be the only one to make them."

I wanted to argue, but I thought about always being with him. It made me happy. I could break this barrier he had and get him, maybe, to love me.

"Why are you acting so... psycho?" He caressed my cheek tenderly.

"I don't like seeing you like this... you've lost your beauty. I'm keeping you out of school until you look a bit more attractive; I'll stay out with you. But, I'll only allow Neji as a visitor. Not even Orochimaru or Kisame can come. And certainly none of the girls from school."

Okay. Itachi was really acting weird. It was enticing and creepy all at once.

"This isn't just me being concerned- obviously I am concerned- but it isn't just because of my state right now. I fully intend to carry this out."

He leaned in close to me. I wanted him to be closer.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to go check on Neji. Inform him of our new living style."

I couldn't argue with him. Not only was I curious to see how it would work out, but my lips were too swollen to say much.

* * *

**Annoying POV switch  
Neji/ First Person**

* * *

I tried to wash the blood off my shirt, most it spilling onto Hyde's face. I felt very guilty for it. I never bled on my Gackt shirt or my Miyavi shirt or my Rammstein shirt. I had a lot of band shirts. Hinata and Hanabi came into the room and glomped me. I was shirtless. 

"Are you alright?" they asked. I was fine, my nose had stopped bleeding. My wrist had been bruised, but nothing else.

"I'm dying..." I said solemnly. Their eyes got wide and Hinata started tearing up. "Dude! Dude! I'm kidding! I'm sorry!"

Hanabi hit me.

"I'm sorry!" I said again.

"That was mean..." Hinata whispered.

"Sorry... I'm fine, really. You should see Sasuke! He looks like shit."

"Ahh, Karma..." Hanabi sighed contently. I laughed, and pounced on them, tickling them.

"Hey!" Itachi's voice came from the door, scolding Hanabi. She laughed, and apologized. She explained that it's a balance because he's always been so unbelievably attractive. This seemed to satisfy Itachi, so he let her go.

"Hinata, why don't you and your sister go visit Sasuke? I want to speak to Neji."

They left and he sat down on the bed. I put my shirt back on.

"I've decided that I'm not comfortable leaving Sasuke's side. It's not that I don't trust you. But I believe that it would be best if I chapherone all dates. If you're at the house than I'll give you guys some space but basically I'll be in his life a lot more and in yours too consequently. Orochimaru will probably not like this, so we'll probably be breaking up. Anyways, I can understand if this makes you want to see less of Sasuke; I would like a day of just him and I so I'd appreciate it if you didn't visit until the day after tomorrow. We'll be out of school for the next week or so. Don't be afraid to come by."

What?

"What?"

"I don't want him to make mistakes. Any mistakes made will be my own and thus I'll be more comfortable knowing it was my fault instead of suspecting it was my fault."

"Itachi... you realize that spending all this time with him. It'll make him... you know, want you again. It'll give him the wrong idea."

"I have grown past that and I am fine that he feels that way for me. As long as I don't act according to how he'd like we should be fine. I'll be taking him home soon; I can give you and your cousins a ride."

"No, my uncle is here, he's just going over some paperwork. I guess I should go say goodbye to Sasuke."

Itachi smiled. "Thank you for understanding."

We walked to the next room over, so I could say goodbye.

Sasuke was laughing with Hanabi and Hinata; it was really cute how affectionate he was with little kids; no one would suspect it. I walked over to him and kissed his swollen lips delicately.

"I'll see you Wednesday." I whispered, ruffling his hair.

Hinata, Hanabi, and I went back to my own hospital room and waited for my uncle. I looked at my watch.

"Oh shit! Hinata, didn't you have a date with Naruto like, twenty minutes ago?"

She sat up straight. "Oh... I completely forgot! Oh... when I explain it to him it'll be okay. He knows how important you are to me."

I smiled and we waited for Hiashi to come back.

"Do you want to call him?" I asked, pulling out my cellphone. She nodded and took it, quickly dialling his number.

"NEJIII!" I could hear him yell from the other end of the line.

"No- it's Hinata; I'm just using his cell phone. He and Sasuke got in a car crash so I'm with him at the hospital. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to stand you up..."

He giggled. Yes, I could hear. And my cell's volume was set low. He said something, I could hear his voice but not what he was saying.

"Y-yeah. Yes... okay." she smiled, "Bye." She handed me back the cell and I put it back in my pockey.

"We'll go Wednesday instead. Lucky he didn't buy the tickets already."

"What are you seeing?"

"XMen 3..." she muttered. Hanabi laughed.

"How romantic."

"Shut up, Ha-chan. I think it's sweet." I said. But seriously, Xmen 3? Naruto is so dumb. I mean, Xmen is fine but for a first date?

"I like Xmen..." Hinata said.

Hiashi came into the room, asked how I was and all that fatherly stuff. We went to Dairy Queen, since thats where I'd been heading before we crashed, to celebrate life in general and me surviving a car crash. Hinata offered me a new shirt to iron on a new picture of Hyde onto. The caked brown color didn't match Hyde's outfit.

All in all I had fun with my family. But I thought of Sasuke. And Itachi. And I couldn't figure out Itachi's sudden new imposition of himself on Sasuke's life. It just didn't make sense so it bothered me. I was a little jealous. I just... I didn't get it. I didn't want Sasuke to think that he and Itachi... and then get hurt. At least with me he knew I'd never hurt him or leave him. And he knew that I'd do anything to make him happy. And instead of preventing mistakes I'd help him work through mistakes. I was convinced that Itachi had gone crazy. This wouldn't end well...

* * *

**Another POV Switch  
I'm sorry, I know they're annoying  
Sasuke/ first person**

* * *

Itachi drove me home; I rested my head on his shoulder. The serence silence was beautiful. I was going to like this, I could tell. Of course there are times when I could think of it being a bad thing... like when I want to freak out little kids and end up molesting Neji at a public park. Not that I've done that yet, it's been on my to do list. I was going to take him to a park today... but that will have to wait. Making out in front of strangers is one thing; but I don't think I'd want Itachi to see us like that. This was going to eliminate dates for Neji and I forever... Itachi must realize this. But the postives far outweighed any negatives I could think of. I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't look as good as I normally did, I admit; but my lips were starting to deflate and the bruises were... manly. I didn't look that bad. Of course, the thin layer of pus gluing my eye shut was disgusting, and as such I'd be wearing sunglasses until it went away. 

He wrapped his arm around me, his hand grazing down my back and rubbing me sensually. He bit at my earlobe, turning his head for a moment, but then got right back to driving. This was weird. I looked up at him, his face giving away nothing; solemn and beautiful. His hand was still rubbing my back but he had no expression. The touch was comforting. The touch killed me. He knew, he had to know. That Neji could never fully replace him. Neji was like white out, an off-white splotch that covered a mistake but didn't remove the fact that a mistake had been made. Itachi knew this, so why was he touching me so... so tenderly? He had stopped all physical contact Saturday when he found out. Sure, it had only been two days but... I don't know. I liked this. I hated this. What was he doing? He was killing me with his gentle touch. Did he realize? Thats why Neji was better suited for me. I know how to decode him. Itachi... I can't. His fingers travelled down to my lower back and slipped past the barrier of my pants, just grazing the top of my ass and circling over to my hip. I looked out the window; I didn't recognize the surroundings.

He pulled the car over. We were in a forest of sorts.

"What's happening?" I asked. He had a new look in his eyes. He turned off the ignition and tilted my head up at him. I swallowed. This was unnerving.

"The explanation is long, tedious, and unsexy. I'll tell you after..." My eyes widened.

"After what?" I said loudly. I had always wanted this but this... this frightened me. He kissed me delicately and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Can we not do it while I'm ugly... and wouldn't it be better to do it at home I mean..." I stammered. He kissed me again and tilted me back.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, rubbing his lips over my stomach and pulling off my shirt.

"But- Neji..."

"He'll be happy for you. He doesn't love you, Sasuke, he's pretending."

"But then don't I owe it to him to pretend as well?"

He shook his head. "He'll understand- and if you're so worried just don't tell him..." He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down the zipper, holding me down with his hand. Like I would resist. I wanted to, this felt odd. Why all of a sudden? After all the resistance and preaching about how it was wrong... But at the same time, how long had I waited for this?

He licked my bellybutton; a lump formed in my throat. It was fine when it was my fantasy but I was beginning to realize this was not okay.

"I thought-" I tried, "That this disgusted you."

He put two of his fingers into my mouth to silence me, commanding me to suck on them. I complied, out of fear more than anything. And confusion. Why was this suddenly okay? Was it because Itachi was horny? What was going on. I stopped sucking his fingers to ask what was happening.

"Shh," he comforted, "I told you I'd tell you afterwards..."

He took his fingers out of my mouth, leaving a trail of my saliva down my chest as he ran his pointer finger down my body. He removed my underwear (black silk boxers with assorted pictures of Billy Boyd on them that Naruto had gotten me for my birthday the year previous after he'd learned of my small obsession with the actor) and I lay there awkwardly. What was happening? Why was this what happening? And why was I not enjoying this?

"Itachi -I... I don't-" he glared at me, but I continued, "I don't think this is a good idea."

"I'm giving you everything you've wanted," he breathed into my ear, tugging at it with his teeth. I gasped. Right now I think I'd prefer Itachi how he usually was. This... this...

He turned me over and pressed my head against the seat with one hand while he fumbled with his pants button and zipper and he pulled them down a bit. He dug through his pocket. I could hear the crinkling of a plastic package being ripped open. He pulled what was obviously a condom over himself.

I cried out as he entered me, trying to lift my head to see him. He kept pushing it down, bucking into me. I gripped at the seats, my nails scraping into the leather interior. This wasn't right. This wasn't a concerned, loving touch like he usually gave me. This wasn't a gentle but playful touch like how Neji touched me. This was rough, and unexpected, and painful. Tears were running down my face but it wasn't until he heard me sob that he let me lift my head. He pressed his lips to my falling tear drops and apologzied, but made no move to get off of me.

"I'm sorry to be so rough- I'll be gentler."

I shook my head, still crying. I wanted to get out of here, call someone I could trust. But who else could I trust besides Itachi? Neji wouldn't know how to find me; I didn't know where I was. I kept shaking my head, but Itachi didn't stop.

"Please-no..." I whispered, struggling. He pinned my hands down and kept going. He slowed down after a little bit, but kept at it. I knew why he had slowed down; he wanted to make it last. Eventually I gave up the struggle and tried to turn off my brain. It didn't work. I focused on the song stuck in my head: Mind Forest, by Gackt. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to that song again.

Eventually he came and got off me, pulling me close to him. I pulled up my pants and readjusted my shirt and combed my hair with my fingers. He did the same and started driving, pulling out of the forest. I sat up rigid in my seat, looking down at my feet. I don't think that before that I had actually experienced shame. He looked at me.

'What's wrong, niichan?" he asked, one eye on me and one on the road ahead. I shook my head, tear falling down my cheek, "Tell me..."

I shook my head violently; it looked like he was about to give up asking.

"I WANT AN EXPLANATION!" I yelled. He looked at the road, not speaking.

"You told me you'd tell me!"

Itachi sighed and opened his mouth to speak...

To be continued

Just kidding! Who knows when I'll get a chance like this again?

"You getting over me so quickly, moving on. It made me angry, a little jealous. I didn't think I wanted you to feel that way about me. But when you didn't any more..."

"So you rape me?" I exploded, tears angry and hot falling down my face. He shook his head.

"You wanted that, Sasuke. You could've stopped it at anytime."

"No I couldn't have! I asked you to stop!" I rest my forehead on my knees and looked away from him.

"Is Neji better than me? He can do that to you but I can't?" he asked. I shook my head.

"He doesn't do that to me! I do that--"

"...to him?"

I shook my head. But was he right? Did Neji actually like this? Or was he letting me vent out my frustrations...

"So even though this is what you wanted from me you're angry at me for it?" he asked. When he phrased it like that it seemed foolish to have protested his advances. There was nothing angry or condescending in his tone, which is what scared me. If he were angry than atleast it meant that there was meaning behind what he'd done.

"Why, Itachi?" I whispered, "Just answer me that..."

"I wanted to see if there was any possibility of us. The only way to test that was to fuck you."

I blinked up at him angrily. How dare he!

"What! So that's all it was? Just a little demo?"

"It didn't have to be but obviously you're not willing to have that kind of relationship with me..."

"Not when you take it by force!" my voice cracked from the tears lodged in my throat. This wasn't fair... I leaned my head against the window, the glass cool against my forehead. This had not been a very good day. I wished Neji were with me.

* * *

**Okay. End of chapter for now. **

**I just wanted to point out that I'm proud of the irony here. **

**And again I'm so sorry! I apologize in advance for however long it takes me to update again. **


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